Warning: Do NOT Look Directly into Its Eyes!

Mr. Z and Miss O have created this disturbing new character, and they've named him Loordelanz, Jr. [pronounced "loor-duh-lants." Don't ask me.]

The character itself is not necessarily all that disturbing. It's the doll they're using to portray the character:



The thing is creepy as shit. It's like a bizarre cross between that Quizno's talking baby and an infant Paul Sorvino. They dress it up in capes and shit and run around the house with it and frankly, the whole thing is giving me a bad case of the willies and/or heebie jeebies.

I don't understand the game at all. First, the name is just plain bizarre. Loordelanz, Jr.? Is that French? Italian? Esperanto? There's also some other character named Arthur, who owns a McDonalds and Miss O has recently introduced a mini version of the baby known as Princess Loordelantz, III.

And they leave that freaky doll all over the house: in the kitchen, the bathroom, sticking out from under the bed. I'm waiting to have a fucking grabber sometime when I pull back a shower curtain and see that zombie hell-baby staring back at me with its cold, dead eyes.

Oh, and the voice Mr. Z provides for the thing just ups the whole creepiness factor. It's like this:

"I ame is Oor uh lantz unior. Ut is oor ame?"

Apparently, Loordelantz, Jr. has already scared most of the consonants out of its vocabulary.

I've gotta start letting them watch more TV and stop making them use their imaginations so much. It's just not healthy.