How do you not laugh when your son talks about his penis? I don't want to encourage the boy because penis talk already comprises about 92% of his daily material, but I really don't think I'm helping matters when I laugh hysterically at every one of his penile ponderings.
He was in the shower tonight and I was sitting just outside the door, trying desperately to use that precious spare 6 1/2 minutes to make a dent in the NY Times crossword puzzle. This is a smattering of what I was hearing from behind the shower curtain:
"Hey Dad, my penis looks like an opera singer with no eyes or nose. La-la-laaaaaa!"
"Ride 'em, cowboy!"
"Dad, why is my penis so cute?"
"Dad, which is better, 'balls' or 'nuts'?"
It went on and on and on. Of course, when I came in to help him wash his hair, I was practically crying, I had been laughing so hard. He said, "What's so funny?" and I lamely replied, "Oh, I just read a funny story in the paper."
There is no way I'm going to be able to explain where babies come from to that kid. No fucking way. Hell, he already uses the internet. He'll figure it out.