Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Talking Poli-chicks

I swam this morning before work and it went pretty well. Didn't ingest any phoreign phlegm, didn't drown, no one showed me their balls in the shower.

While I was getting dressed, however, I was privvy to a conversation between, you guessed it, a couple of elderly gents. (Now I know I seem to be fixating on the elderly gent thing in my Y posts, but it's basically me and a bunch of elderly gents at this particular YMCA. I'm not being age-ist, it's just the way things happen to break down, age-ily).

Here's what I heard:

ELDGENT1: Last night the daughter-in-law made me a cake for my birthday. I had three slices of the thing and a big bowl of vanilla ice cream [accent on the "cream"].

ELDGENT2: Oh, yah? I don't eat the ice cream anymore. I have the frozen yogurt. There's a Dean's brand that tastes pretty good. It's called "Dean's Healthy Choice" and it tastes a lot like ice cream but without all that fat. Though it has the sugar but I guess that's not as bad as the fat.

[Complete silence for about 3 minutes]

ELDGENT2: You know those Dixie Chicks just don't get it!"

Wha? That's some transition. The guy went on to talk about how it's fine for "them girls" to think what they want and all but, as performers, they had a responsibility to be loyal to the president and to be patriotic, for cry-eye. Especially, he emphasized, when performing on foreign soil.

I came very close to launching over the lockers a little, "Oh yeah? So how do you feel about that dunderhead Toby Keith and his fucking "Taliban Song," old man? Is that being a responsible performer? Is that the crap you listen to at home while you're downing a spoonful of your fake ice cream?"

But instead I got dressed, checked in the mirror for post-swimming snot and left.


Dave said...

I'm still trying to figure out the ice CREAM part. Anybody who's anybody knows it's ICE cream. I think they were speaking in code. If you take the first letter from each word they said, it spells out "I can see your balls." Old man balls, they really put 'em out there don't they?

Anyway, good luck on the writing project!

crabbydad said...

Thanks, Dave. I do think, in a disturbing way, "putting the accent on the cream" is the same thing as showing one's balls.

Bleh. I need another shower.