Wednesday, November 25, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats in College: Meal 045

11.24.15 Dinner

Mr. Z.: Dinner.

This meal's color palette:

Does this photo really need any commentary? Do I really need to say that I hope that that's a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and not a collection of the petrified smellets that he was barely able to squeeze out after ingesting that mummified chicken sandwich and the mess o' fries from last night? Must I question why he'd get a glass of chocolate milk when the cereal automatically manufactures its own chocolate milk when you pour regular milk over it? Need I ponder whether that's an orange in the upper left or if it's a brick of Colby cheese that he gnawed on in between spoonfuls of chocolate?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Monday, November 23, 2015

What Mr. Z. Eats in College: Meal 044

11.22.15 Dinner

MR. Z.: Went to DK's for dinner due to the lack of a frozen pizza in the fridge. I was originally gonna get some chicken tenders, but then I was like, "Hey, I should probably get something with some semblance of healthy stuff, huh?" So I got a chicken sandwich that said it had lettuce, tomato and onions. Lo and behold, I got it and guess what it didn't have? Lettuce, tomato or onions. But it did have Swiss cheese, so that negates everything else, right? Also, those fries were better than any "fries" I've EVER had at Commons. The Izze was amazing.

This meal's color palette:

I'm guessing the Izze was "amazing" because it allowed that dessicated-looking chicken-bun to somehow slide down his gullet without lodging in his epiglottis. That is one scratchy looking meal. I'm hoping that the red splatter on the plate is ketchup and not part of his larynx. Those fries do look good, though. Perhaps the chef at Commons could learn a thing or two from the work-study sophomore who most likely fried up that batch of crispy taters at DK's. Don't worry, Mr. Z, you'll get some solid meals under your belt this week at grandma and grandpa's house. And if you're lucky, we'll stop here for lunch.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats: Meal 043

11.17.15 Lunch

MR. Z.: Lunch today. I realized that I should've taken a picture about halfway through my tots. I also had another grilled cheese afterwards and, subsequently, went into a carb coma.

This meal's color palette:

I guess we need to remember that carboholism is a disease. As they say, you need to take it "one tot at at a time." Sure, Mr. Z's intentions were good -- go for the tomato soup. Rich, healthy, comforting on a chilly autumn day. But where there's tomato soup, there's always a grilled cheese. And, apparently, where there's a grilled cheese, there are tots. And as they also say, "one tot is too many and a thousand not enough." And what better to wash a thousand tots down with than... a second grilled cheese. Maybe, with a little bit of luck and a giant salad at dinner, "this, too, shall pass."

Friday, November 13, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats: Meal 042

11.12.15 Dinner

MR. Z.: So this was actually last night's dinner, but over the past few days, I've finally found the trick to Commons. Instead of going for pizza (... well, even though there's a slice of pizza on the plate, that's the only time I've had it this week), I've been making grilled cheeses with the panini press once a day, and they always turn out amazingly. Better than almost anything else I've had here. Next step is probably a turkey melt.

This meal's color palette:

The chestnut hues of that stellar panini have muscled the greens of the salad straight out of that color palette. And look at that, he's down to just one slice of pizza per meal -- must be the pizza patch he started wearing to wean him off of his six-slice-a-day habit. And paninis are nothing like pizza. You've got two pieces of bread, pressed together and heated up, and filled with gooey melted cheese... yep, nothing like pizza.

Monday, November 09, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats: Meal 041

11.7.15 Dinner

MR. Z.: I've recently decided that Saturday nights are the time where I just say "fuck it" and go wild, hence this carb overload (#carboverload). A sub sandwich, a grilled cheese turkey melt, and two slices of "white pizza." (Commons with that thinly-veiled racism, huh? Not fun.) Thankfully, I made a salad.

This meal's color palette:

I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Z gets some sort of commendation from The Gluten Society of America for single-handedly offsetting all of the financial losses the gluten-free people have caused the gluten industry. (Pro Tip: You might want to double up on those salads for the next few days, Mr. Z.)

Sunday, November 01, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats: Meal 040

10.30.15 Dinner

MR. Z.: It's "Bacon Day" in Commons. A huge downgrade from AppleFest. Lord help me. (There's even bacon in the cupcakes.) This is what I ended up with. Sadly, I had to regress back to pizza and greens, and then a "vegan tostada" or something that'll likely look similar to the aftermath of this meal tomorrow morning.

This meal's color palette:

Look, I try not to make every one of my comments have something to do with poop but meals like this make it down right impossible. Vegan tostada my ass. That entree is just sheer gastronomic apathy on the part of the chef. What self-respecting chef can let a plate like that even exist in the world. They might as well just throw a diaper on a plate. I can just see the scene in the kitchen:

CHEF: As a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America, I have trained at some of the most esteemed restaurants in the world. I've worked my way from sous chef to Chef de Cuisine at some of the most important bistros in New York and I am now Executive Chef of a fine liberal arts college in Wisconsin. Tonight, I shall create the greatest entree of my culinary lifetime! And I shall call it... Turd on a Tortilla... no... The Turdtilla!

[The chef dumps a can of refried beans on a tostada, "dings" the order-up bell and walks into the bathroom, slamming the door.]

CHEF: [muffled] If anyone needs me, I'll be in here planning tomorrow's menu. [SFX: flush]