It's Official: They're Never Coming Home

Okay, here's how cool my parents are.

Not only do they volunteer to take the kidlets for a few days this week. Not only do they drive halfway into Michigan, from suburban Chicago, to meet us for the dropoff. Not only are they planning on taking the kids on a train to Milwaukee to some new, nightmarish hotel/waterpark for a couple days...

They also decide, on their way back home from Michigan yesterday, to stop off at the Shedd Aquarium and treat the spawnlets to a little fish-watchin' party. Who does that?! Who has the patience, let alone the energy, to say, after 5 hours in the car, "Hey kids! You wanna go see the beluga whales?" Fucking gung-ho grandparents on the loose, that's who. Whom? No... who.

I talked to Mr. Z last night on the phone and he was seriously jacked out of his gourd. You have to understand that this is a kid who, quite literally, memorized the names (both scientific and common) of every fish, sea creature and crustacean that has ever lived or even thought of living in a body of water, by the age of three. He was like:

MR. Z: Dad! Gramma and Grampa took us to the Shedd Aquarium. I saw two Garibaldis [his all-time favorite fish], a leopard shark, spider crabs, Look-downs, a Paku, a Lungfish, wolf eels, Cownose rays, Silver Arawanas, sand eels...



It went on for about five minutes. Needless to say, the boy was stoked. Of course, the first thing I said was,

ME: That's great, dude! I'll bet you thanked Gramma and Grampa tons, right?

Silence.

Then, turns from the phone and yells, "Thanks, Gramma and Grampa!" Classic.

All I know is that I hope there's some magical moment in life where you suddenly stop being so fucking tired you can barely breathe and you start having 'SUPER-DYNO-ENERGY' that allows you to go to the symphony one night, to a play the next, to some art gallery opening the next night, and then still have the ability to take a five hour road trip that culminates in a visit to a goddamn fish zoo.

If there isn't a magical moment like that, then I'm pretty sure my parents are on 'the crank.'