Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Dirt on Earth Day

The Good Earth...
I took Mr. Z to MSU's Baby Animal Day today on campus. It was quite the barnyard bonanza: piglets, goats, calves, emus and an anaconda -- yeah, I guess I missed the "Old McDonald had an anaconda" verse. It was a day chock full of wholesomeness and a shitload of Purell.

The highlight for Mr. Z was either when the Draft horse peed right next to us for about 8 minutes (quite the healthy stream, I might add), or when the boy got to hold the baby chicks, ducks and turkeys. My test for whether something is truly cute or not is, if I really want to put it in my mouth, it's cute. Well, I was ready to stuff those little furballs in my pie-hole by the fistful:

We had a blast.

Earth: The Asshole
We've got this fucking Magnolia tree in front of our house that has to be the biggest fuckwad plant I've ever experienced. For like two days it's the most beautiful thing on the planet:

Then, on day three it just shits itself all over the lawn and makes our yard look as if a goddamn paper shredder blew up all over it:

That tree's a fucking dick! What could possibly be the point of such a tree? For two days, the neighbors are saying, "Oh my goodness! Your tree is so beautiful! It's simply breathtaking!" And then blam, it's like, "Hey asshole, get your tree diarrhea off my driveway, will ya?! Fucking prick!"

I'm one step away from going Mr. T on it's ass and turning that thing into firewood.

Happy Earth Day!

1 comment:

Jello Mom said...

Now Chocky, perhaps you might look at it as earths little reminder that so much great beauty is stored up all year long for that breif yet incredable burst of magnificence. Kinda like a special party to celebrate it all.

That's not mess.... it's confetti!