When we moved to Michigan almost two years ago, it was a big move for the kiddies. Moreso for Mr. Z, as he was starting a new school and had to leave all his friends behind. So, when the school year began, I started writing a little note each day on a Post-It and sticking it in his snack (they have a mid-morning snack each day) just to make him more comfy at school. Fucking sweet, isn't it? Unfortunately, he enjoyed the notes so much, I was forced (by my own guilt, and a bit of his whining) to continue cranking out these goddamn notes every fucking day of the school year. I started in the Fall of 2004 and I have continued, non-stop, since then.
Mr. Z has saved every one and they are now stuffed inside this plastic "Bug Bottle" that he keeps on a shelf in his room. I decided to go through them tonight just to see what two years of crappy notes actually looks like and I made a fascinating discovery. Here are the notes I made for St. Patrick's Day 2005 and St. Patrick's Day 2006 [click to enlarge]:
Well, it's sure nice to know that my creativity just blossoms over the course of 365 days. What the fuck?! They're almost exactly the same. I mean, I know I'm getting predictable in my old age, but this is ridiculous! Oh sure, the 2006 leprechaun is kicking his legs to his right while ol' 2005 is kicking to the left. And 2005 has a pipe and a shilelagh while 2006 seems to simply be whacked out on some crank. But crap, they even both start out with "Aye, Zeke!" Fucking leprechauns don't even say "Aye," do they? And "I hope ye be havin'..."?! Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure I think leprechauns are pirates.
I don't know, it just seems kinda depressing to me. A whole year passes and I'm like some post-it-writin' zombie droning out the same old crap day after day after day. "Have a great day... have a great day... eat your snack... brush your teeth... don't sass your mother... wipe your ass properly... beep-boop-beep-boop." I should just make one note that says, "Mr. Z, your dad is a fraud and he hasn't had an original idea in over two years. Enjoy your snack. Love, Dad." Then I'll laminate it and he can just carry it in his pocket every day. [That's not a bad idea, actually.]
I did, however, find a couple of notes that I am somewhat proud of. After exposing myself for the fraud I am, I should at least be able to highlight a couple of the better ones, no? Hey, it's my fucking blog, so lay off! Here you go...
I dunno. I thought they were funny. But that's just me... Mr. Original!