Tuesday, September 27, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: The Sophomore Meals/#004

9.22.16 Dinner

MR. Z: Pretty proud of this meal. Some taters/pasta/salad. Didn't even get a single slice of pizza or tater tot.

This meal's color palette:

Not much to say here -- that is, indeed, a solid meal. Way to go, Mr. Z! And while it's true, there's not a single slice of pizza on the plate, a little creative use of the cropping tool does reveal this:

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: The Sophomore Meals/#003

8.30.16 Lunch

MR. Z.: Chicken Caesar wrap from DK's. I've been getting these pretty regularly this year since a) I gotta actually use my flex dollars this time, and b) all of my friends have class right now, so I can't go to Commons unless I want to eat alone. These are actually pretty great, though: the chicken/lettuce/tortilla ratio is surprisingly A+.

This meal's color palette:

No complaints here. Bunch of major food groups represented, all wrapped up in another food group. And all, apparently, being eaten over the keyboard of his expensive laptop. (I'll just put a can of compressed air in his next care package to blow all the Harvest Cheddar and meaty bits outta there.) Also, way to use your flex dollars, Mr. Z! I don't want that school walking away with any unspent crabbycash, dammit! Use it all up, boy! A+.

Friday, August 26, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: The Sophomore Meals/#002

8.25.16 Dinner

MR. Z.: Taking some more risks, and today that means I got the dish on the upper right, which claimed to be tempeh but seemed much more like Satan. It was actually not too bad! And the pizza quality has surprisingly improved, too.

This meal's color palette:

The elusive green color makes an early appearance this year. I like that he's taking some culinary risks and not parking his colon solely in pizzatown just yet. I call "foul" on the chef for trying to slip seitan into a dish by calling it tempeh, though. As far as alterna-meats go, tempeh is fine, but eating seitan is like choking down a vegan hemp-loogie. Wheat sputum.  It's like the giblets of a Tofurkey. Keep up the healthy eating, though, Mr. Z!

Monday, August 22, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: The Sophomore Meals/#001

8.21.16 Lunch

MR. Z.: First meal.

This meal's color palette:

Sophomore year has commenced. And it looks like Mr. Z is starting his gustatory adventures off with a bang: Cocoa Puffs and a tall glass of Robitussin. Things can only get better from here. (Or can they?)

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: Meal 052

3.1.16 Lunch

MR. Z.: Here's today's lunch. They had a pretzel bite station and, of course, I had to try that out. They're just as greasy and amazing as your classic pretzel bites. Topped off with a hot dog (turkey, of course) and a ton of kale.

This meal's color palette:

Pretzel Bite Station?! Isn't that where Thomas the Diabetic Tank Engine lives? This meal covers a LOT of ground, Mr. Z. First of all, I don't think there's such a thing as "your classic pretzel bites." I'm pretty sure they didn't exist pre-2013. I do like that you stuck to the ballpark theme by adding the hotdog, though. Nothing helps wash down some greasy, amazing pretzel bites like turkey beaks, nipples and anuses. The "ton of kale" definitely helps balance the meal out, although I'm guessing it really only cancels out the hotdog OR the "bites." Crack your window tonight before going to sleep.

*************Colon Motility Forecast: Some Delays... Try A Glass of Benefiber with Breakfast*************

Friday, January 29, 2016

What Mr. Z. Eats in College: Meal 051

1.27.16 Dinner

MR. Z.: Veggie burger. Also, white bean "salad" with kale, of course.

This meal's color palette:

This is actually an historic post: there's officially more produce on that plate than carbs. It's... dare I say... a balanced meal! Frankly, I didn't think I'd live to see this day. I'd like to thank everyone who helped Mr. Z get to where he is today: me, the Old Lady, the farmers of southwestern Wisconsin, the Kale Institute, PETA, Alicia Silverstone, and Mr. Potato Head. We did it!

*************Colon Motility Forecast: Smooth sailing!!!*************

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

What Mr. Z Eats in College: Meal 050

1.25.16 Dinner

ME: Ooh, that looks good...

MR. Z.: Yeah, great meal! Complete with kale!

ME: Your new friend, Kale?

MR. Z.: We're becoming good chums. He's easy on my bowels.

This meal's color palette:

He's got the kernel of the right idea here. There's no pizza on the plate, bonus, and there are greens. Unfortunately, the greens are part of a pasta salad that is sitting beside his main course: pasta. (Which is sitting beside his other main course: grilled cheese sandwich.) At least he's washing it all down with a nutritious orange beverage. I can't complain, though, as this is light years ahead of where he started the school year. Keep up the kale, Mr. Z!

Colon motility forecast: Doughy with a chance of kale...

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

What Mr. Z. Eats in College: Meal 049

1.18.16 Lunch

MR. Z.: First meal of second semester. Veggie melt sandwich, "blonde" pizza with some sort of greens and a kale salad. Semester 2 is starting off well. Hopefully the kale doesn't destroy my bowels.

This meal's color palette:

A whole new semester yields a whole new color palette. I see a little lilac in there and, what is that... heliotrope?!  Yes, Mr. Z. is back at school after five weeks at home. It was great having him back at the homestead for so long. In fact, it was almost like he never left... his room. Which he didn't. I think he enjoyed the downtime but I'm pretty sure he was ready to get back to school after about 72 hours, 24 sticks of string cheese and a metric ton of Cheez-Its. Hopefully, this semester, he'll learn that it's the carbs and not the kale that his colon needs to be worried about.

Also, I'd be concerned about pizza that's named after hair.