Tuesday, September 04, 2007

It's Hellementary...

A couple of quick, first day of school highlights:

Eager to kick off her first-grader status, Miss O woke up ON TIME and MADE HER BED! I predict that that will be the last time that this happens all year.

The asshead bully kid who has been in Mr. Z's class every goddamn year is, once again, in his class. If he continues to fuck with Mr. Z this year, I will be forced to teach Mr. Z the "Vulcan Nerve Pinch" and/or the "Klingon Foot to the Nards."

Mr. Z is a "safety" this year. What does that mean? A) he gets to wear a bright green sash and yell "WALK!" at all the kids in the hall, 2) he gets to use a walkie-talkie, and III) Miss O and I have to sit on our collective ass for an additional 15 minutes after school everyday while Barney Fife, Jr. is on patrol.

A younger kid from down the street is apparently going to be walking with us to and from school every day, which would be fine if the lad weren't the LOUDEST, MOST ANNOYING FUCKER EVER. He even came over to play with Mr. Z after school today and he just really bugs the shit outta me. Listening to his voice is like having a fucking goose in heat rammed into your tympanic membrane, and he's just kind of a dick. And he makes Mr. Z seem like he's taken a goddamn vow of silence. I'm thinking tomorrow we'll play the "Quick! Let's leave five minutes early today!" game.

After walking home from school today, Miss O dropped her backpack on the floor and sighed, "That's the last time I'm walking home from school. Let's drive tomorrow."

We are so walking tomorrow.

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