Thursday, September 10, 2015

What Mr. Z Eats: Meals 011 and 012

9.10.15 Lunch

MR. Z.: Very good (if a little dry) turkey burger with barbecue sauce today. Other than that, pizza. I like my routine of "Lame Lunches"/"Don't-Worry-I-Haven't-Been-Brainwashed-Even-Though-I'm-Eating-Vegetable-Dinners." 

This meal's color palette:

The color palette is basically a cross-section of a box of Neapolitan ice cream. Which may actually be more nutritious than this meal. Looks like there's been a bit of a beige, carbo-starchy backslide since last night's side-salad dinner. I have to remember, however, that until he left for college, this was the kid who literally (and I do actually mean literally) ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a bag of chips and a bottle of chocolate milk EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE HE STARTED TAKING LUNCHES TO SCHOOL. Is the above meal a nutritional step up from that? Let's call it a draw.

9.10.15 Dinner

MR. Z.:Dinner, featuring a thumbs-up from Mr. N, who's obviously impressed at how amazing my meal is tonight. Pizza, another massive salad, fries (with a big blob of ketchup because it REALLY didn't want to come out of the bottle), an orange and some questionable garlic bread. And CHOCOLATE MILK! I've finally been reunited with my bae. I think I'll be drinking chocolate milk (and normal milk) for good now, since I've had enough carbonation for a while. [SFX: airy fart]*

This meal's color palette:

Okay, I spoke to soon -- the greenery has returned. Although I wouldn't necessarily call that a "massive" salad. I guess if you're used to "no" salad, then, yes, that's a massive salad. The carbs sure seem to be winning the battle for plate square footage, however. "Questionable garlic bread," indeed. I question why he decided to grab that desiccated heal of colon-cork when he already has two (more) pieces of pizza and that mess-o-fries. I swear, if I ate that meal I wouldn't shit for about 96 hours. And when I finally did, it'd come out like one of these. Man, what I'd give for a digestive system with Mr. Z's motility. Enjoy it while you've got it, Mr. Z. Once you hit 50, the ol' Hershey highway comes to a screeching halt and it's bumper-to-bumper traffic for as far as the eye can see.

*Sound effect added for emphasis.

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