Monday, January 22, 2007

Warts: The Footnotes...

Took Mr. Z to his (hopefully) final wart visit with the doctor. The doc only had to burn off a couple of the lingering nubbins and he thinks that should be it. Unbelievable, these things. This was his fourth trip over there. That does it -- I'm making the boy wear socks 24/7 until he goes off to college.

Tonight, as the boy and I were talking before he went to sleep, we discussed the worst places on one's body to get a wart. He, of course, led off with his butt...

MR. Z: Dad, what would happen if you had a wart on your butt?

ME: Well... that would be a bummer. Ha! BUMmer? Get it?

MR. Z: [silence]

Then I suggested that it would really suck to have a wart on one's eyelid. He agreed that that would be heinous. Then, inevitably, it led to:

MR. Z: Ooh! What if you had a wart on your privates?! And what if it covered the little hole at the end, and then all your pee kept building up until the whole thing exploded all over the place?!

ME: Hey, that reminds me... did you go to the bathroom before bed?

MR. Z: Yes! So, what would happen?!

ME: Uh, well, that would probably be really painful and messy, and you'd probably never be able to take a pee standing up again. So that's a real good reason why you should make sure to wash your penis really well when you take a bath.

MR. Z: Okay.

Who says I don't teach my kids valuable life lessons?

No comments: