Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Roof... The Roof... The Roof [of My Mouth] is On Fire...

I cannot tell you how hard Mr. Z rocked the orthodizzle todizzle! The boy never ceases to flip my lid. Nine in the morning, in the chair, sponges in his cheeks and one of those face speculums (speculae?) stretching open his pie hole, while they cemented a mass of plastic and wires that looked like some futuristic IUD designed by HR Giger to the roof of his mouth?! And this from the kid who bursts into tears when we brush his hair in the morning?!

Our boy done growed up, mother!

Seriously, though, he was stellar. He even sat there while the old lady and I ham-handedly practiced tightening the keyhole (and no, that's not a euphemism, so don't go calling DCFS). Never complained. Just a couple of dry heaves here and there. And he drank his shakes and ate his soup all day, no problems. Now all he has to do is keep it on for 14 months and then it's on to Phase II. Woo-hoo!

I had to drop off Miss O at this holiday vacation daycare thing at her school this morning and it nearly kill-ted me. It's at the same place as her kindergarten, and, usually, there are some other kids from her class there. This morning, however, it was pretty much all 1st and 2nd graders and Miss O was not a happy camper. She gave me "the lower lip" and the tears started a-flowin', and that's when my left ventricle pretty much burst. I looked around the room for something to distract her with but, frankly, I had nothing. Luckily, one of the teachers saw us and came by to make Miss O her "special helper." I slipped out the door while they were picking out some art supplies and felt like a total shithead.

Luckily, when I picked her up this afternoon, she was all smiley and bubbly. Apparently, a friend of hers showed up right after I left and they had a great time all day together. So I got a reprieve. And to alleviate any lingering guilt, I hung up her new fairy canopy thing we gave her for xmas. It's quite impressive:

Tonight, as I was saying goodnight, she sat up inside the thing and held out her hand to shun my approach, saying, "I am the Queen in my private lair -- Do not disturv me!"

I decided to just leave her ve.


jon said...

Is that netting dolphin safe?

crabbydad said...

Not dolphin-safe, but Miss O's bouts with malaria have gone WAY down since I hung it up, so... you take the good with the bad.

EOB said...

That netting reminds me of the "cotton island" upon which me and the Mrs. spent our honeymoon. So, the next time we visit, would you mind if we... you know... hung out on it drinking beers and reading books?

shannonoz said...

As a recovering victim of orthodontal kiddie torture, I can really sympathize with Mr. Z. Not to scare you or anything, but orthodontics did literally nothing for me except engender a healthy fear of dentists. I had braces twice, retainers, headgear, untold thousands of dollars spent by my parents, the whole schmoozle, and at the end of it all, my teeth were exactly the same. At that point, my senior year in high school, they wanted to break my jaw, then wire it shut for six months, then more braces. Fortunately, by that time I had growed up enough to say no f---ing way. Anyway, I hope it goes differently for Mr. Z.