Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Sometimes a Trunk Is Just a Trunk...

Sorry, I've been up late (early?) for the last few nights doing freelance shit and trying to wrap my puny brain around Mr. Z's science project, which is gluing as we speak. Still don't know if that fucker's gonna work yet. Oh well, it's just his future that hangs in the balance.

Quick recap of a dream I had last night...

It was a fucking blizzard outside and I was out stomping around on the front lawn with the spawnage and we were trying to navigate these 20 foot snow drifts that were all over the place. At one point, we get separated, and when I finally look up, I see Mr. Z and Miss O fall backwards into this hellacious crevasse. I run up to the edge of the icy canyon and see the two of them sunken into the rotting carcass of a giant elephant.

I manage to somehow extricate them from this putrid pachyderm, and then I reach down, for some dumb-ass reason, to try to lift this decaying Dumbo from the hole. I grab ahold of its wrinkly skin and pull, and all the flesh from the head just rips off in one big sheet, and I'm left standing there, holding onto this giant, floppy, dripping, maggot-infested Silence-of-the-Lambs skin mask. I turn to show it to the spawnage, but they're gone, along with the snow, and I'm just standing there on my front lawn with this leatherface-esque elephant mask.

And when I woke up, an empty pillowcase was on my head. No, it wasn't, but wouldn't that have made this an awesome post?

Oh well.


Jasper Mockingbard said...

i love the gory details... wanna hear about my dream? good!
this psychotic student named charlie was tromping through my dream. (in real life he is a nightmare- no self-control, no diginity, no respect- a worthless piece of crap) For some unknown reason is following me through a hotel. I get to my room, enter and lock the door. as i'm getting ready for bed, the door starts shaking. i look and see that this tubby 3rd grader is squeezing underneath the door- kind of like a rat. his arms are flailing and he's clawing the floor to pull himself under. when he finally gets into the room, he stands up, brushes himself off and hands me 3 bowling pins. He then crawls back under the door.
i'm sure glad summer vacation starts in 33 days.

crabbydad said...

Holy carp, Jasper, you're twisted.

Wait, after he handed you the bowling pins, did he say, "See ya, I've gotta split!"

Is this thing on?

Seriously though, dude, stay away from that shape-shifter rat kid. Just make him run laps for the last 33 days of gym. He the devil.