Sorry I missed a day -- work has been wacky and I've just started a freelance gig with a ridiculously hasty deadline, so excuse me if I don't have an extra few minutes to tap out my latest fascinating musings about woodpeckers and poop.
Speaking of which, can the YMCA purchase toilet paper that could possibly tear out my delicate anus flesh any more than it already does? And the answer is "no." My day, and perhaps the next few weeks, was ruined by the tree bark they're trying to pass off as fucking "bathroom tissue." Holy shitstain, I don't think I'll be able to sit down for at least 96 hours. I'm not sure, but this afternoon, I'm pretty sure I heard my road-rashed a-hole crying.
And is shitty toilet paper really that much cheaper than "okay" toilet paper? I mean, I'm not asking for 400 threadcount Egyptian cotton here -- I'd just like something that doesn't have burrs on it. Something that doesn't unintentionally give me a Brazilian while I'm taking care of my business. Something that comes in packaging that refers to its "ply" instead of its "grit."
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go change my gauze after I throw away my underwear.