Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Are You My Mother?

Miss O told us tonight that she accidentally called her teacher "Mama" today. That always cracks me up. Mr. Z has done that a shitload. He called his 3rd grade teacher "Dad" once, called his 4th grade teacher "Grandma," which I'm sure she fucking loved, and, this year, he called his 5th grade teacher "Dad." He said his teacher looked at him and said, "Dad?! I'm not your dad!"

I laughed at that response at first and then I thought about it for a second. "Wait a minute -- is his teacher saying 'I'm not your dad' like 'You think I look like that hairy freak that loiters in the fucking lobby after school?!'" If so, then them's fightin' words, sir!

But I guess I'd be flattered, as a teacher, if a student called me "Dad." I guess it means the kid trusts and looks up to you like a parent. Or it could mean that their real parent is such a fuck-up that they call any adult who pays even the slightest bit of attention to them "Dad." It's a fine line.

Personally, I don't care who they call what -- as long as they don't start calling me by the janitor's name.

4 comments:

Rev. Harlow Jesse Carpenter said...

Everybody's done it once or twice... in elementary school. But I recall one unfortunate lad calling our Junior High science teacher "mom" - an uncomfortable silence followed, during which no one in the classroom - neither teacher nor students - said a word. Seconds later, class resumed as if it had never happened. But of course, I still remember. Doug McNeil probably does too. And Mrs. Lowman.

Jasper Mockingbard said...

As a PE teacher, I see every child and mutant in the school. With the tag of "Coach," it apparently makes me a prime target for the dreaded student hug. Not knowing whether some of these kids have bathed or are wearing clean clothes makes me cringe. I would prefer they call me "Dad", "Grandpa", "Momma's Boyfriend" or "Baby brother's daddy". At least then I wouldn't have to worry about burning my clothes when I get home.

crabbydad said...

Jasper, that's why you've gotta wear the polyester coach shorts. No child filth, no matter how heinous, can stick to those mofos.

PG said...

Frick, I have called co-workers 'hun' before and not the Atilla type. Freaked me out loads.
I love my wife and want to be with here forever.
Some of the women I have dropped the unknowing 'hun' to...
...
.....
......
OK, I am back from puking. It's not something I am proud of an I usually try to cover it up instantly.