Tonight, Miss O introduced me to her friend "Emily" who lives in the toaster:
She said, "Dad, this is Emily. She's my friend who lives in the toaster. Sometimes she comes out and plays with me. She's asleep right now. This is what she looks like when she's awake:" [then she pressed the 'start' button]
It fucking blew my mind. First, because it was so odd and funny and brilliant and B, because I have always looked for faces in inanimate objects my entire life. Cars, appliances, houses -- they all have faces and accompanying personalities and I'm constantly looking around for things like that. Of course, I never noticed Emily until Miss O introduced me. Classic.
Then, tonight, while I was tucking her in, Miss O informed me that Emily's mom always sleeps with Emily at night, in the same bed, no less. I said that Emily probably had a bigger bed, but Miss O said that no, it was the same size as hers. Then she started to get a little upset and wondered why we don't sleep with her in her bed. I tried to explain that there was no room and that she's a big girl now and blah, blah, blah -- she wasn't buying it. So I said, "You know, Emily's mom is probably a microwave oven -- if you want, I can go get our microwave and put it in bed with you." [Uh-oh, wacky dad alert!] Well, that stopped her crying and she settled down and all was well with the world, once again.
And then I promised that Emily would make her some toast for breakfast.