Sunday, September 10, 2006

T.G.I... nothin'

I'll tell ya, weekends lately are just ripping my ass out completely. It's like, the kids hold their shit together during the week and then just let loose with Level 5 shitstorm come Saturday morning.

I know the first week of school is tough, especially for Mr. Z who is not big on transitions. And Miss O, with the starting kindergarten thing -- plus she's getting a cold. And what the shit is up with that -- she's been in school for three days and she's already caught something from some virus-ridden classmate. You know what would make my life sooo much easier? If all these asshole parents would just NOT send their kids to school when they're sick. If their cough sounds like a fucking seal, they're sick. If their snot is the color of a highlighter, they're sick. If they say, "Mom, I'm sick and I don't think I should go to school and infect the normal, healthy kids," they're sick. Keep 'em home, ya shitwads.

I've said it before, but if you don't have any kids, you better be enjoying the shit out of your weekends now, you lucky sumsabitches. You better be out there traipsing through fields, riding go-karts, eating wherever the fuck you want, sleeping in until noon, not being whined at, walking around the house naked, drinking... heavily, having sex whenever and wherever you damn-well please with whomever or whatever, golfing, or doing whatever it is you people who don't have kids do because I sure as fuck don't remember what those things are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have about a half hour left of this glorious weekend to enjoy -- I think I'll celebrate by flossing, taking a dump and then passing out in a cloud of my own crabbitude.


Alex said...

You forgot travel. People without children (that they know of) get to travel a lot more, too.

crabbydad said...

Great, Alex. Just when I thought I could sink no lower, you toss in the ol'travel. Thanks for that.

But those people without kids go to shitty places like Vancouver and Italy and New York. They miss out on all the fun trips, like Target and Caeserland and Frankenmuth.

Okay, now I'm really depressed.