I was so fucking jacked yesterday, 'cuz my SwiMP3 player had finally arrived and I was going to be able to aimlessly flop around in the water to tunes!!!
But I plugged it in and it was broken. Cheapass shitfuckers.
It's probably for the best though. That thing probably would've given me an aneurysm in the pool and the little girl lifeguard who listens to the radio and reads Lucky magazine and doesn't pay any fucking attention to the swimmers wouldn't have noticed and none of the grannies and grampas who swim there would have had the bone-density to make it to the bottom to pull me back up and I would've drowned, and eventually they would've pulled me out with that big-ass hook thing and they'd notice that ridiculous device strapped to my head and would've muttered to themselves, "I always thought that guy was an asshole."
So the bastards are sending me a new one. Maybe I'll try it out in the tub first, so if my brain pops and I die, at least it'll only be my immediate family calling me an asshole.