Saturday, June 30, 2007

Dad, Have You Met My Friend RALPH!

Well, Mr. Z's has a nasty stomach virus and today was all about puke, explosive diarrhea, and keeping Miss O away from said puke and diarrhea. It's amazing though -- I'm pretty sure this is the first time Mr. Z has ralphed since age two. I'm not going to jinx it by saying that the boy never gets sick, but he sure as fuck didn't inherit my enfeebled gene pool.

Poor dude, though. He started yookin' after breakfast, this morning, and didn't stop until mid-afternoon, when he decided to start blowing chunks out his ass instead. I really freaked out at one point, after he had a particularly heinous ass-pulsion episode on the crapper. He was starting to look really pale and I asked him how he was feeling. He said, "Perfect!" and then stood up to wash his hands. He literally turned white and passed out -- luckily, I was right there and I caught him as he fell into the hallway. He was only out for a couple seconds and then he opened his eyes and said, "What am I doing on the floor?"

We got him back into bed and, over the course of a very long afternoon, he started bouncing back. By tonight, he managed to choke down some popsicle, banana, toast and some saltines, so hopefully, he's on the mend. I hope. My nerves are fucking shot.

He and I did manage to have a little fun this afternoon, in between ice-chips and head-in-the-trashcan moments. We played a buncha games of Hangman ("pooh bear," "diarrhea," "constipated," "Uranus," and "Kerplunk) and he came up with this game where he would come up with a definition of a word, and together, we had to think of a word for the definition. Here are a couple of the better ones:

"kerplisten" -- to poop while someone is talking to you

"nintentoot" -- farting while playing a video game

"bookie woogie" -- to read a book while listening to jazz

"Bearger King" -- a bear who frequents fast-food restaurants

"bone voyage" -- a skeleton who's going on a trip

"chow mane" -- feeding dog food to a lion

"poobsly" -- a slang term for a Teddy Bear

"noobsly" -- playing a computer game you've never played before with you poobsly

"boobsly" -- breast-feeding your poobsly

I don't know... they were funny at the time. I do know that I need some fucking sleep. Who knows what fluids await me tomorrow morning.


Anonymous said...

Aww shitty :(

haha sorry.

My little guy was sick last week and is now fighting with his athsma(coughing). Just got him calmed down after a bad bout and now Im bug eyed. Dammit.

Feel better Mr.Z.

Jon said...

That blows.

The last time I was sick like that, my mom was in the process of resurfacing the hardwood floor in her kitchn. She really liked it when I accidentally vomited on the floor, before the wood stain was dry.

I hate throwing up. Besides the whole unpleasant nature of the activity, I always freak myself out by thinking about Bon Scott.