Monday, May 14, 2007

Bonin' up on Sex Ed...

Mr. Z and the other boys in his class have apparently been having a couple of classes a week with one of the male teachers in his school, to learn about pee-pees and wee-wees and the vay-vay. (Which is great, by the way, 'cuz I still can't say the word "penis" without tittering like a school girl.) Tonight, before bed, I was feeling brave, and I asked him if he had any questions about anything he was learning.

MR. Z: Yeah... so why do people call it a vagina when it's really called a vulva.

ME: Well, a lot of people don't really understand that the vagina is really the inside part and the vulva is the part that's on the outside.

MR. Z: Even Mr. H calls the whole thing a vagina.

ME: Really? Did you say anything about that?

MR. Z: Well, I raised my hand and told him that I thought the vulva and the vagina were two different things.

ME: And what did he say?

MR. Z: He said the vulva is part of the vagina.

ME: Well, see, even some grownups don't know what they're talking about.

MR. Z: And we saw this movie that was about the penis and everything, and I was trying to listen and all the other guys in the class were laughing and calling it a "weenie" and stuff.

ME: Well, a lot of times people laugh when they're nervous or uncomfortable. They were probably just nervous.

MR. Z: Well, I told them that they should call it a penis.

ME: That's telling 'em.

So I guess I don't really have to worry about him being the youngest in his class and learning about all this stuff too soon. Actually, it kinda seems like he should be teaching the fucking class.

I'm just glad he doesn't make his penis sing opera at school, like he does in the shower.


Monica said...

One of my FAVORITE topics. Thank you, oh Crabbydad, for touting, or having your spawn tout, the correct terminology for female parts, i.e. vulva, not vagina, the Great Unseen. Though I suspect that the VERY correct term for the EXACT opposite organ of the penis, was not included in ANY of the discussions. That would be the CLITORIS.
Oh, to be present the day when little children point and shout, "I have a penis! You have a clitoris!" instead of the old penis-vagina wrangle.
Maybe it would help if it were only two syllables...and had a long vowel - the cleenis!

crabbydad said...

Amen, Monica. I'm lovin' the word "cleenis"! I'm gonna teach it to Mr. Z and have him start that baby around school. I just don't get the vag/vulv confusion. I mean, if dudes don't even know what to call the damn thing, they sure as shit ain't gonna know how to use it.

Monica said...

What worries me, along with nuclear war, is the fact that most women need/like to use the term vagina. Vulva may have too much in common with voluptuous, way too sexual, and the exact area of it is...indistinct, right? Vagina sounds way more technical and friendly, while clitoris rhymes with licorice, kinda. Seems like lots of women just don't like to put it out there, so to speak.