It's time for another episode of "DREAMS OF A MORON!"
Last night's dream was quite simple, as the DREAMS OF A MORON tend to be. The crabbydad family was at the zoo. Miss O had somehow tumbled into the polar bear exhibit and was on the verge of being eaten by a giant polar bear. Mr. Z was trapped with a leopard and was moments away from being devoured. And the old lady was cornered by a ferocious lion and was about to be ripped to shreds.
And where was Crabbydad, you ask? Why, I had the perfect vantage point to be able to see each one of these horrific scenes unfolding before me. And I was close enough to each member of my family to cause some sort of diversion that would save their lives... however...
On my head was a GIANT coiled ANACONDA and its venom-soaked, open fangy mouth was inches away from my head and it was waiting for even the slightest flinch to completely tear my dumbass face right off of my skull.
Oh, what an impossible, labyrinthine plot to untangle! Gee, what could it all mean?! My family is completely reliant on me for their very survival and there I stand, frozen, powerless and unable to commit to their rescue.
I'm surprised I wasn't sitting in a chair in the zoo basement with a big sign around my neck that said, "I'm having a mid-life crisis, I have no friends and, for the life of me, I can't initiate any sort of positive action toward self-improvement."
At least I didn't dream that I was blogging.