Miss O was a total pill this morning -- she wouldn't get out of bed, yelled at me when I was trying to help her get dressed, refused to eat her cereal, wouldn't open her mouth to brush her teeth, wouldn't put her coat on, linked her mittens together with the little hook things and then refused to unlink them, making it impossible for her to climb into the car... just working my last fucking nerve, that girl.
So I got kind of fed up and pulled off her mittens, picked her up and placed her in the car, and then she kinda yelled in my face and then, well, we drove to school in silence. (Except, of course, for Mr. Z's constant stream of dialogue that's always running in the background.) She was pee-issed, but by the time we walked to her classroom, all had been forgiven.
Or so I thought. I gave her a kiss and hug and then turned to leave her classroom. Miss O walked up to her friend and teacher and said:
MISS O: Hi, K. Hi Mrs. H. Guess what? My Dad did a fart this morning and it was TOTALLY stinky!
K: Ha ha!
MRS. H: [fighting every impulse in her body not to look disgustedly in my general direction] Okay, Miss O. Um... let's find your seat and start your work.
Touché, Miss O. Tou-fucking-ché.