I don't have it in me to actually think and type tonight, so I give you three Google searches that landed people at my site today:
1. An inquiring young mind at the University of Minnesota arrived here at 11:01 this morning by posing the question "how unhealthy is a chocolate malt?" I have an answer for this inquisitive Golden Gopher -- chocolate malts are not the least bit unhealthy. Unless they are chocolate malts made with chunks of malaria in them.
B. Some brilliant, future world leader from Fayetteville State University found me by performing a 10:17 a.m. search for "a picture of the longest turd in the world." I am proud to say that Crabbydad is search result number six. Hopefully, with a little more relaxation, deep breathing and shredded wheat, perhaps some day I'll be a 10 foot long, steaming number two.
III. And finally, a sleep-deprived Herndon, Virginia pree-vert did a little search at 2:26 a.m. for "girls fucking in a gas station bathroom," that landed them here. I'm assuming they were actually looking for information on the famous Pointillist masterpiece by George Seurat "Girls Fucking in a Gas Station Bathroom on a Sunday Afternoon." If so, I direct them to Chicago's Art Institute, where they will find that original painting, right next to Paul Gaugin's "Two Tahitian Women with Mango Blossoms, Urinating on Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec."