Tuesday, February 20, 2007

All Roads Lead to Crabbyworld...

I don't have it in me to actually think and type tonight, so I give you three Google searches that landed people at my site today:

1. An inquiring young mind at the University of Minnesota arrived here at 11:01 this morning by posing the question "how unhealthy is a chocolate malt?" I have an answer for this inquisitive Golden Gopher -- chocolate malts are not the least bit unhealthy. Unless they are chocolate malts made with chunks of malaria in them.

B. Some brilliant, future world leader from Fayetteville State University found me by performing a 10:17 a.m. search for "a picture of the longest turd in the world." I am proud to say that Crabbydad is search result number six. Hopefully, with a little more relaxation, deep breathing and shredded wheat, perhaps some day I'll be a 10 foot long, steaming number two.

III. And finally, a sleep-deprived Herndon, Virginia pree-vert did a little search at 2:26 a.m. for "girls fucking in a gas station bathroom," that landed them here. I'm assuming they were actually looking for information on the famous Pointillist masterpiece by George Seurat "Girls Fucking in a Gas Station Bathroom on a Sunday Afternoon." If so, I direct them to Chicago's Art Institute, where they will find that original painting, right next to Paul Gaugin's "Two Tahitian Women with Mango Blossoms, Urinating on Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec."


Jon said...

Ha ha. I had someone stumble onto my blog while doing a google search for "noisy prison fucking".

Very specific fetishes are frightening. Whatever happened to the days when people just liked "boobies" or "weiners"?

Anonymous said...

Hi Crabbydad,
I don't know you, but I read your postings religiously. So when I saw this, I knew I had to send it to you:

Enjoy breakfast!

EOB said...

Let's just say that a "friend" of mine works for a very popular search engine and spends his entire day making sure that search terms sponsors bid on result in a satisfactory experience for the searcher. Now, this friend usually just reviews very popular or profitable search terms, but he also sometimes sees search terms that will probably never ever be actually searched, but because of some awful word in the search term, must be reviewed by a human eye. I think one of my friend's favorite search terms ever is "turned on by cat food commercial." Or maybe it was "aroused by..." or "erection from watching...", but either way the turn-on was definitely a cat food commercial. That is, according to a friend.

crabbydad said...

Jon, that's so funny, 'cuz if I've learned anything from your blog, it's that you prefer very discrete prison fucking.

Liz, thanks for the link. I'm very intrigued by the "all day breakfast." Though I'd be more into it if I didn't think it would lead to the "all night shit-fest."

EOB, that's so weird, 'cuz everyone knows that it's the dog food commercials that are totally hot. Oh, and your friend sounds like a total dick.