Friday, February 09, 2007

Holy Funkshit!

I'm trying to write something, but I've got VH1 on and it's showing this old Stevie Wonder concert that's fucking blowing my mind. He's singing some song "Sensuous Whisper" that I've never heard but it's insane. There are like 20 people in his band and they are unbelievable. Now he's doing "My Cherie Amour." It's funny, 'cuz earlier I was watching some "Little Steven's Underground" concert with the Romantics and Cheap Trick, and compared to Stevie, those dudes just sucked donkeys.

Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the biggest Cheap Trick fans out there -- the first concert I ever saw was in 1978 at the International Amphitheater in Chicago and it was Cheap Trick and Graham Parker & the Rumour. But shit, man, in the thing I watched tonight, they were all out of tune, and had that bad wig-hair and they were phoning it the fuck in...

MOkay, I just stopped typing for about eight minutes while Stevie played a medley of "I Wish" and "Sir Duke." FUCK! I've gotta go downstairs and burn every musical instrument down there. What's the point?!

Look at this shit:

That does it-- starting tomorrow, the spawn and I are going out and buying matching dashikis, and we're gonna listen to Stevie 24/7. Okay, 23/7 -- gotta have an hour of the Ramones to balance shit out.

And I can personally guarantee that Ms. Laurie Berkner will never be played in this household again. She's the anti-Stevie. She's a funk-suck. She's "Songs in the Key of B... M"

Ooh, I've gotta get Miss O one of them funky pillbox hats the bass player's wearing.


Jon said...

I saw Cheap Trick in concert about 10 years ago when they opened for Meatloaf at an amusement park. Couldn't pass that up. There was hardly anyone in the audience for Cheap Trick, except for two women in their forties in full lace body suits (one suit was white, the other was black). It was a nightmare. Everyone else sat down as "The Trick" played, but these two were shaking their money makers for the boys in the band. At one point one of them threw her keys on the stage and then stood their awkwardly when no one picked them up or made a big deal about the fact that she was inviting someone (anyone) from the band over to her house. At the end of Cheap Trick's act, she got one of the security guys to retrieve the keys for her.

Rick Nielsen was a fucking cartoon up there, throwing picks left and right to people who were just sitting there waiting for Meatloaf to show up and reinact some scenes from "Beauty and the Beast". One pick bounced off the chest of the guy sitting next to me and I don't know if he even bothered to find it on the floor. I do remember him turning to me and saying, "What the fuck, dude?"

So yeah, current Cheap Trick: Not Pretty.

But Stevie Wonder is the bomb, yo.

And I saw the Ramones in concert in 93 in a tiny club. They did not disappoint.

Kim said...

I had the Cheap Trick experience about 3 years ago when they opened for Aerosmith at an outdoor ampitheater. I won't say they were unlistenable, but the weren't great either. I just remember thinking how sad it all was--they just sounded tired.

Robin Zander looked worn out, like he'd been a week-long bender. I remember some teenage girl next to me asking her friends "Who are these dudes? Are they famous?"

Even the older Aerosmith fans in the crowd, who'd obviously know who Cheap Trick is and would be their fan base, was, oh, less than enthusiastic.

I just remember feeling sorry for them, and thinking that it was about a quarter past time to hang it all up.

Stevie Wonder, btw, is, was and ever shall be the bomb diggity. All children should have at least a manditory 60 minute block of Stevie appreciation time every day!

crabbydad said...

Yeah, it's sad -- Cheap Trick's lot in life. They pretty much influenced me musically more than anyone, aside from the Ramones, Clash and Jam. Bun E. Carlos was/is the gold standard for drummers, as far as I'm concerned. My old band actually opened for them at the China Club in Chicago in the early 90s. Nicest dudes ever. I think they still do have fun playing, though, even if they look tired. Ya know, they looked old and tired even back when they were young. Shit, if I can still be playing at their age, I'll be doing it. Even if it is only for a coupla key-tossin', cat-suited soccer moms.

Listen to "Auf Weidersehen" and "Stiff Competition" today and tell me that those are not two of the rockfuckingest tunes ever recorded. With those tunes in the world, the dudes can be as boring and dumpy today as they want. All hail the Trick.

Evan said...

Here's some stevie playing drums for you. I especially love that the band's drummer had to stand behind him and watch.

crabbydad said...

Holy crap, Evan, that blew my puny mind. I just imagine Ringo watching that at the time, and saying, "That's it, John, I'm burnin' me drumkit in the mornin'." I didn't think it was possible for Stevie to get any more funktastic, but that did it {he says, as he pours kerosene over his Ludwigs.)

Kim said...

Stevie definitely doth bring da funk.

He just won ANOTHER Grammy for a duet with Tony Bennett. The man is unstoppable.

It's funny, because now whenever I see Tony Bennett, all I can think of is Alec Baldwin's tremendously funny impression of him on SNL.