The power went out this morning and was basically out until 2:30 this afternoon. Some asshole drove his car into the transformer at the end of our street and 'sploded it real good. Nothing like a power outage to remind me how much of a moron I am.
Obviously, I couldn't do any work. Fine. So, I went to check my e-mail. Oops. Maybe I should post something on my bl-- oh... right. So I went up to the kitchen to make some toast. Or not. Well, then I thought maybe I would make myself a nice banana milkshake. I actually had everything out and lined up next to the blender before I realized that... well, that I'm a fucking idiot! Then I looked at the microwave to see what time it was. FUCK! Then I looked at the stove to check the time and guess what? Electric. Which is probably a good thing, because I was about ready to stick my fucking head in the oven and end it all.
So, tomorrow we embark on a trip of potentially hellish proportions. We're renting a minivan and driving eight plus hours to Iowa to have a family reunion with some of the old lady's kin-folk. Drive out Friday, get in around dinner, have the reunion on Saturday and then drive back Sunday. Wee-fucking-hoo! Of course, Mr. Z and Miss O are thrilled because a) we're renting a minivan, 2) they basically get to watch DVDs for eight plus hours straight, and iii) they'll get to eat crappy road food along the way. That's fucking heaven right there.
Me? I get to make small talk with people I don't know, I'll have my fill of various grilled meats and ambrosia salad, and I probably won't shit for three days. This is going to be great!
I sign off with a conversation with Mr. Z during his shower tonight:
MR. Z: I really hate you, Dad.
ME: What?!
MR. Z: It's opposite day! I mean... it's NOT opposite day.
ME: Oh. I really hate you, too.
MR. Z: I'm not looking forward to this trip to Iowa.
ME: Oh, I am!
MR. Z: You mean you're NOT looking forward to it.
ME: Oh, right. I mean, wrong. Now, keep playing with your penis and don't turn off the shower because it's not time for bed.
1 comment:
Dude, I can't decide whether your blog makes me really excited to have kids, or if it makes me want to swear off all sexual activity forever. Today's post was particularly perplexing.
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