I decided to bungie the old crib side to her bed again, though. It's either that or send her to bed wearing her bike helmet, which could be awkward when she starts having sleep-overs. Of course, I'll have to prepare myself for her denial tomorrow morning:
ME: So, you fell out of bed again last night, Miss O.
MISS O: No I didn't!
ME: Actually, you did. That's why I put the side thing back on your bed.
MISS O: I didn't fall out of bed! You're lying, Dad!
ME: Okay, okay. You didn't fall out of bed. Now finish your cereal and stop picking at your massive cerebellar hematoma.
Speaking of Miss O, she brought home these great drawings the other day of a girl standing and sitting:
How awesome is that?! That kind of shit kills me -- just picturing her trying to figure out how to draw someone sitting down. It's the way a kid thinks, encapsulated perfectly in a drawing. I should get that tattooed somewhere. Maybe on my forehead.
Okay, I just heard this PIERCING high-pitched noise that started blaring in the basement and I was frantically running around trying to figure out what it was. Smoke alarm? Nope. Carbon Monoxide? Nope. Some other fucking alarm that I don't even know about? Maybe, until I realized it was this fucking toy microwave oven sitting five feet from my desk that was GLOWING RED AND EMITTING A BRAIN-MELTING TONE THAT WAS PIERCING MY GODDAMN TYMPANIC MEMBRANE! What the shit kind of toy is that?! And what asshole even gave that to us?! Motherfucker, that thing was loud.
Look at that -- just when you start thinking about how cute your kids are, their fucked up toys come alive and get you all riled up.
Yeah, like I'm going to be able to sleep now. Bah, I say! BAH!
1 comment:
I put a pillow on the floor next to my baby when she decides she wants to wriggle about in her sleep. She hasn't fallen out of bed since!
Yes, they talking noisy toys..one time when my boys were smaller I was sitting there watching ER minding my own business when Buzz Lightyear began to speak on his own. I shat my dacks right then and there...not literaly but you get the drift!!
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