Thursday, June 01, 2006

Road Update 1

Yeah, no post yesterday as we were en route with the kiddies to Chicago. Sorry. The trip was brutal but fairly uneventful, save for the moment when I opened the door to the rest area into Miss O's foot, cinching my nomination for "Crappiest Dad of the Year."

I realized something during the trip that kind of freaked me out -- my kids never see night. It's fucked up. Because they both need TONS of sleep to hold their shit together and maintain at least the facade of normalcy during the day, both kids are usually in bed and practically asleep by 8 p.m. each night. I know, it's insane but it works and I ain't fuckin' with it. It doesn't help that Michigan is in the westernmost part of the eastern time zone, so it stays light until almost 10, and they can hear kids half their age playing and riding their bikes outside. I usually just say, "Well, those kids' parents just don't care about them as much as your mom and I do. Now go to sleep."

So, yeah, they never see night. It was about 9:30 and we were driving along the fabulous, turd-smelling Skyway, toward Chicago, and Mr. Z is like, "Wow, look at that beautiful sunset!" Well, actually it wasn't a beautiful sunset -- it wasn't even average. It was pretty much a shitty sunset but he was flipping his lid because, frankly, it may have been the first sunset he's ever seen. I'm surprised he even knew what it was called. I'm surprised he wasn't like, "OHMIGOD, DAD! THE SUN IS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY!!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHERE IS THE LIGHT GOING?! WHERE IS THE LIGHT GOING?!?!?!"

But you haven't seen these kids when they haven't gotten their 12 hours of sleep. Hysterical laughter followed by weeping, broken glass, fires, locusts -- it's fucking mayhem, I tell ya! It's a very delicate, fake homeostasis we've created in our bizarre family and even the slightest alteration to it could lead to utter chaos.

I don't know, I guess, eventually, we're going to have to let them stay up later. It could become a problem when Mr. Z is in high school -- "Sorry guys, you'll have to finish off the rest of the heroin yourselves. It's quarter to eight and I've gotta get home and go to bed." Yeah, that could be awkward.

Maybe tonight we'll really go nuts and let them stay up until 8:30.

1 comment:

Cazzie!!! said...

Our 4 brats are in bed by 7:30p.m. this part of the year..and during daylight savings (In Summer) they stay up until 8:30p.m.
You are right, they are gremlins without the right amount of sleep. MY kids ask us why other kids stay up late too and my reply is the same as yours is...and another one I say is this, "Your brain needs a rest so you can concentrate tomorrow at school".
They get to stay up late on school hollidays when we go to the drive in cinemas also, they fall asleep in back of the van by the time we get to the second movie. They love that, they are in their PJ's at teh cinema, it looks cute too.