Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Hydra Feast!*

You might be wondering how one as crabbitudinous as myself spends his Father's Day. Well, I woke up after a peaceful slumber that involved ABSOLUTELY NO WOODPECKERING ON MY WALL AT ANY POINT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Though I did hear the "foil agitation devices" scraping against the side of the house from time to time -- baby steps... baby steps.

Went downstairs and, after prying the kidlets away from the computer, managed to eke out a couple of hal-farted "Happy Father's Day"'s from them. Got two great cards from Miss O:

Card 1 [it sure was nice of her to pixelate her face out for me]

Card 2 [that's me in 7 easy steps]

And I received a classic, Mr. Z card, at his non-sequitur-iest:

This is the cover only -- rest assured, the inside has even less to do with Father's Day, but is classic Mr. Z -- a fascinating read.

The old lady, despite the tireless hours she has been spending on writing her grant proposal, still managed to get me an awesome Crabbydad's Day gift:

That, my friends, is the 9-inch, Iron Handle Le Creuset Skillet, with the "Flame-02" finish. The thing is fucking cherry! Goodbye teflon -- there's a new non-stick coating in town, and her name is "enamel." Sure, I'll miss the toxic teflon fumes that have been fueling the uncontrolled growth of my massive, as-yet-undiscovered brain tumor, but that tumor will have to find succor elsewhere! Viva Le Creuset!!!

What else did I do today, you ask? Get a massage? Lounge in my nappies, reading the Sunday Times? Brazilian wax? Nay -- too "relaxing." I decided to help out the old lady, who is still laboring over this grant thing, and take the kids to a movie. That's right -- Father's Day shouldn't be about taking the day OFF from daddydom -- it should be about being even Fatherier! TO THE MOVIES!!!!

We went to see "Over the Hedge," which I really wanted to not like. I don't know -- going into kids movies, I always have a "Boy, this is going to suck ass," attitude because then, I'm usually not disappointed. But I have to admit that this flick was really great. Garry Shandling, Steve Carrell, Wanda Sykes -- it was funny shit. I actually laughed OUT LOUD a couple of time (though I was sure to cover it up with a cough or too, so no one would notice). And granted, I was able to laugh with Miss O sitting on my lap for THE WHOLE MOVIE, and Mr. Z asking questions IN A VERY LOUD VOICE THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING, all while devouring an OBSCENELY HUMUNGO vat of popcorn with NO LIQUID WITH WHICH TO WASH IT DOWN. So, yeah, it was pretty funny.

Made it back home, farted around for awhile and then I decided to test out the new Le Creuset 9-inch, Iron Handle Le Creuset Skillet, with the "Flame-02" finish, by whipping up some ho-made chicken fingers and some french fries. The pan worked flawlessly, the chicken rocked and guts were packed.

All in all, today was pretty great. Fuck, when you're able to go out there and just have a good time with the spawn, without all the work bullshit and the lack of sleep and the "my life's so fucking hard" belly-aching, parenting is really a blast, you know? I mean, I know I'll be singing a different tune tomorrow morning, but today, while not perfect, really was a happy father's day.

*Can't think of a blog entry title? Anagram server!


Kim said...

Viva Le Creuset indeed! What a great gift!

I got a 5 1/2 quart electric blue Le Cruset dutch oven from my boss for my birthday and it rawks bawls! Teflon, shemflon--enamel is where it's at, baby!

BRAIN said...

yo chocky - where'd you get that sweetass wristband? i think i seen it on a victory auto wreckers tv commercial! btw-i got my grammas le creuset pot, original from like the 50s & flame, too. the thing is wicked.

anyway, may your skillet bless upon your families cuisine with kindness and love for all that is fried for all the days of it's existance, which will most definitely outlive you... and me.

crabbydad said...

Brain! The wristband is attached to my sweet-ass watch and yes, I got it at Victory Auto wreckers. Traded my Yugo for it. I opened the driver's side door and it fell off... just like on the commercial. And thanks for your skillet blessing. I shall fry up a mess 'o something in your honor.

You too, Kim.