Monday, June 12, 2006

Behold! Nature's Bounty!

Well, for those of you waiting so patiently, here's my veggie garden, in all its miniscule glory:

As you can see, I'm about two weeks away from recreating the Amazon Rainforest in my backyard. It'll be nice and lush right around the time the local historical society shows up to excavate the entire yard in search of more arrowheads. Oh well, as Chief Okemos, for whom our humble town was named, might say, "Paleface garden mighty puny. Perhaps cheaper and wiser to buy tomatoes at Kroger or Meijer, shithead." [That's a loose translation, by the way. My 'Ojibway' is a tad rusty.]

So I finalized the transfer of our Home Equity Line of Credit to a fixed rate loan today. I ended up blowing off that flim-flammer over at Chase who tried to dick us out of a huge chunk of cash and ended up doing business with the fine folks at National City, the new up-and-comers in town here. The guy who did the deal for us looked exactly like a less-attractive( ?!) Seymour Cassel, so you've gotta trust him, right?

Oh, I've been working on a new tune that features both Mr. Z and Miss O on vocals. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that the title rhymes with "Riproe Roo the Rulips," and it's gonna be so fucking cute it'll make you shit yourself. After that one's done, I'm going to finally dig into Mr. Z's version of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" just so he'll stop bugging me about it. He's still obsessed with that goddamn song -- constantly singing it, playing it on the piano, asking to hear the Tokens version that's on my computer. He's even got Miss O singing it now. It's like a fucking drill boring into my walnut-sized brain. I'm telling you, that song is Wimoweh-annoying.

I'll leave you tonight with the latest Google search someone did that led them to this blog:

Search = "elderly gents" shitting -- #1 result: Crabbydad!


Kim said...

Mummified remains = Seymour Cassel.

I'm sensing a theme here...

GO said...

Great stuff as usual, Crabbydad... But seriously, where *can* I find this elderly gents page?

Cazzie!!! said...

A job very well done is an impressive piece of work :)

crabbydad said...

Thanks, Cazzie, for ending the phrase "piece of..." with the word "work." You're too kind.

GO -- we're living the "elderly gents" page, my brother.

Kim -- find the final clue and you will have solved the puzzle! Good luck! [Hint: It has something to do with 'chafing.']