A while ago, I snagged a little code from Arnie's site that allows me to track who is coming to my site and from whence they came. It's not like there are hoards of visitors to my site (is seven a hoard?) but it is fun to note the occasional visitor who happens upon the site via a search engine. These poor souls were apparently searching for something else but ended up with my site as one of their potential search matches, instead. Here are few of my favorites:
"Boots fucking Dora" -- Yahoo Search -- Search Result #8
"Maria Conchita Alonso nipples" -- Google Search
"pineapple pinatas shredder bird toys" -- Google Search -- Search Result #8
"'City Eats' menu Okemos" -- Google Search -- ONLY RESULT!
and my personal favorite:
"hobo King of Toilettown" -- Google Search -- ONLY RESULT! AND, the person who did the search is from NORWAY!
Yes, henceforth, I shall only be addressed as "Hobo: King of Toilettown!" Kneel before me and bow to the porcelain king! As I sit upon my throne, flush with satisfaction after releasing the ships into the harbor, I wipe my cheeks, for they are flushed as well. Urine my kingdom, now... so... um... poop. All out of toilet puns.
So, anyway, tonight at dinner, I was trying to get Mr. Z to eat a cherry tomato. Miss O loves them (as long as I refer to them as "moon squirters") but the boy is not a fan. Finally, I got him to take a chance and he reluctantly popped one into his mouth. He gagged and then said:
MR. Z: Bleh... it tastes like salty bread!
As I was putting Miss O to bed, she started complaining about the railing I attached to her bed frame. As I predicted, she denies that she fell out of bed last night and is furious that the railing is back up. I tried to explain that even though she doesn't remember it, she did indeed do a face-plant off her mattress last night and the railings need to be up for a little while longer. She said:
MISS O: Please take it off. I'll sleep with one eye opened and one eye closed, so if I see myself falling, I will move back toward the middle.
Nice try, but no, Miss O. She eventually relented and I read her a book. As I turned out the light, she asked me to tell her a story. I said:
ME: Miss O, you heard me say that you could have a book OR a story, but not both. You chose the book.
MISS O: Yeah, but I have a hearing problem!
Which cracked me up... so I told her a story, too.