Sunday, August 02, 2009

Dog Day of Summer...

Apparently, I was just not crabby enough. Apparently, I needed less sleep, less money, less time to myself and assloads more frustration.

Apparently, I needed a dog.

So, we drove down to the Toledo area yesterday and came home with Grover, rescued mutt extraordinaire.

His full name, according to his genealogist, Mr. Z, is Sir H. Grosvner Scruffington of the Barkshires. His given name is "Gordon." I actually thought that name was fucking hilarious for a dog. I love human names on dogs. Like Chuck. Or Kevin.

But I was the only one in the crabbshack who liked Gordon, so we had to find something we all agreed on. Stupid democracy. The Old Lady went with the nerdily obvious "Albus."

Fuck no. Like we're not already big enough nerdarinos.

We eventually decided on another "G" name, so as not to confuse the pup. Or course, Mr. Z and Miss O came up with the unusable "Goopula." Then I thought, "Why not just switch the letters around a bit. No use wasting some perfectly good letters."

ME: What about "Grodon"?

MISS O: [laughing, secretly]

MR. Z: What's so funny?

MISS O: Nothing.

ME: No, really. Why is Grodon funny?

MISS O: Isn't that the 'thing' on boys?

MR. Z: [laughing hysterically] NO! That's "scrotum"!

So, he's Grover.

This is gonna be ruff...


AmandaL said...

God had a plan when He gave me only girls... and I still have the nerve to tell the oldest two that their sister was born through my belly button...

Jasper Mockingbard said...

Look at that evil grin.

I think he looks like a Lestrange or a Malfoy.

You better watch yourselves.

Darrin said...

cooooool. he looks like one of those shaggy, generic 'save from a pound' dogs that you see in Disney movies. you outta start training him now so in a year you can start raking in that fat-Disney cash after he starts with Dwayne Johnson in 'My Poor Pup Goes Bananas in Monte Carlo'.

crabbydad said...

Brilliant, Darrin! I'm gonna go one step further, though, and teach him to talk... like Dwayne Johnson!

leslie said...

You have earned another star in your crown!!
What a fine lookin' dog!

Lizzy said...

He is dog perfection. I prefer my pooches with a beard.