Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Dog Day of Summer Deux...

Actual conversations I had with Grover today...

ME: [grating Parmigiano Reggiano] This is CHEESE Grover. CHEEEEESE.

GROVER: ...

ME: Tell you what. If you can say "Cheese," you can have a hunk.

GROVER:...

ME: Nope. No cheese for you.

___________

ME: [6 AM, standing outside in my robe, waiting for Grover to pee...] Are you gonna go potty?

GROVER: [not going potty]

ME: C'mon! You wake me up at 6 AM and you're not gonna pee?! Just piss, okay?

GROVER: [pees about a thimble-ful of whizz]

ME: You win this round, my scruffy friend. But don't come running to me when you have a dried turd affixed to your ass hair.

GROVER: [sneeze]

____________

ME: [throwing frisbee in backyard] GO GET THE FRISBEE, GROVER!

GROVER: ... fuck off.

2 comments:

Shannon said...

It's wonderful how having a dog mellows and relaxes you, isn't it?

Jasper Mockingbard said...

I think maybe your dog thinks he is a cat.

All dogs like cheese.... so they can gas you least expect it.