Holy Crop!

With the half-share of veggies we get every Monday from our local CSA, this summer, we've literally got veggies flying out of our crabbyasses 'round here. It's incredible getting all this fresh produce that has sprung from Mother Nature's dirty, dirty loins, but the thing is, you have to be constantly cooking shit or you've got withering roots and greenery stinking up the fridge.

I have to say, though, that the Old Lady and I have been rising to the challenge, of late, and we've been cookin' up some righteous vittles. Instead of yappin' on about it, though, I'll show you some meals from the last week or so.


Lotsa beets. These went into a salad (farm fresh greens) with blue (bleu? blew?) cheese and toasted walnuts. (Cute side note -- my turds were green the next day!)


Yo quiero chilaquiles, por favor! Actually, I don't think anything in this dish was from the CSA, but it still tasted mucho burrito! It was truly fart-tastico!


A real grown-up meal! Soy Vey marinated salmon (fresh from the Fish Truck) with rice, broccolini and bruschetta with basil and tomatoes from the garden. It was so delicious, my butt valve didn't want to let it go! (It did, though, after some Ignatius Riley-like coaxing!)


Hey, it's last night's pizza with fresh basil and yellow peppers! As they used to say to me in Italy, "Qui, maiale, gode di questa pizza su che ho urinato." Mama mia!


Hey, get a load-a me! I made fucking borscht! And I threw fresh parsley and half a hard boiled egg in it! Why? Because I'm fucking insane! (The green turds returned, for those keeping score.)


Did someone say "dessert"? 'Cuz the Old Lady just whipped up this gonad-draining, no-bake cheesecake with fresh blueberries and bing cherries. Holy crapstain, it was tasty! Unfortunately, the spawnage decided they'd rather have popsicles, so the Old Lady and I had to suck it down ourselves. Oh well -- it was arteriosclerosinful!

Pretty impressive, huh? And the great thing about eating all these veggies is that I've never been more regular in my life. (By the way, is it normal to dump every half hour?) Well, gotta go sleep in the tub!