Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Holy Crop!

With the half-share of veggies we get every Monday from our local CSA, this summer, we've literally got veggies flying out of our crabbyasses 'round here. It's incredible getting all this fresh produce that has sprung from Mother Nature's dirty, dirty loins, but the thing is, you have to be constantly cooking shit or you've got withering roots and greenery stinking up the fridge.

I have to say, though, that the Old Lady and I have been rising to the challenge, of late, and we've been cookin' up some righteous vittles. Instead of yappin' on about it, though, I'll show you some meals from the last week or so.

Lotsa beets. These went into a salad (farm fresh greens) with blue (bleu? blew?) cheese and toasted walnuts. (Cute side note -- my turds were green the next day!)

Yo quiero chilaquiles, por favor! Actually, I don't think anything in this dish was from the CSA, but it still tasted mucho burrito! It was truly fart-tastico!

A real grown-up meal! Soy Vey marinated salmon (fresh from the Fish Truck) with rice, broccolini and bruschetta with basil and tomatoes from the garden. It was so delicious, my butt valve didn't want to let it go! (It did, though, after some Ignatius Riley-like coaxing!)

Hey, it's last night's pizza with fresh basil and yellow peppers! As they used to say to me in Italy, "Qui, maiale, gode di questa pizza su che ho urinato." Mama mia!

Hey, get a load-a me! I made fucking borscht! And I threw fresh parsley and half a hard boiled egg in it! Why? Because I'm fucking insane! (The green turds returned, for those keeping score.)

Did someone say "dessert"? 'Cuz the Old Lady just whipped up this gonad-draining, no-bake cheesecake with fresh blueberries and bing cherries. Holy crapstain, it was tasty! Unfortunately, the spawnage decided they'd rather have popsicles, so the Old Lady and I had to suck it down ourselves. Oh well -- it was arteriosclerosinful!

Pretty impressive, huh? And the great thing about eating all these veggies is that I've never been more regular in my life. (By the way, is it normal to dump every half hour?) Well, gotta go sleep in the tub!


Burbanmom said...

WOW. $5.00 for the burritoriffic recipe and another $5 for the cheesecake recipe. Who the hell are you people, Emeril and Paula Dean?!?

Also, why do red beets = green poop? One of life's great mysteries, I suppose.

Seriously. Recipes. Please.

crabbydad said...

Burban, you can owe me. The cheesecake is by Mark Bittman, from the NY Times -- here's a link to the recipe:


The Old Lady substituted 1/4 cup of sugar for the honey. That's just how she rolls.

The chilaquiles recipe is from "Quick Vegetarian Pleasures" by Jeanne Lemlin (a great, easy cookbook that you should totally get) with a few changes here and there:


1 ½ TBSP olive oil
1-2 onions, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 28-oz. can tomatoes, finely chopped w/juice
1 16-oz can kidney beans, rinsed/drained
1 16 –oz can black beans, rinsed/drained
1 4-oz can mild green chiles, minced/drained
12 corn tortillas cut into 1-inch strips
1 cup sour cream
2 ½ cups (about 8 oz) grated Monterey Jack cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat, add the onions and garlic, and sauté 10 minutes or until onions are tender.

Stir in tomatoes and juice, the beans, and chiles. Boil 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the juices begin to thicken. Remove from the heat.

Spread half the sauce in a 10x10x2 inch or 12x7x2 inch casserole. Top with half the tortilla strips, half the sour cream, and half the cheese. Complete with the remaining tortillas, then the remaining sauce, sour cream and cheese.

Bake 35 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Stuff face hole until nauseated.

And no offense, but if you're gonna compare us to chefs, I'd rather have it be Anthony Bourdain and Stephanie (from Top Chef).

Jasper Mocks said...

It all looks magically delicious! I will hire you to cater my birthday. The secret ingredient is swiss chard!

sea mystery said...

Dude, I'm sure you know the translation in English. Don't eat the pissa ... I mean the pizza man! :) You crack me up! Green turds? Totally TMI, but good to know you are your regular self. :)

Melissa said...

For a minute there, I thought I had accidentally gone from crabbydad to vegandad (who is another great blogger for different reasons). Thumbs up, I'm jealous of your fresh produce. Gotta get myself to the market soon.

Anonymous said...

The pizza looks awesome. I had to freeze a lot of squash and zuchinni last weekend. It's such a shame to let them go to waste.

leslie said...

Yep. Tony Bourdain and Stephanie.

This is some amazing stuff!

But if you keep eatin' like this, you are not going to be able to legitimately call yourself Crabby.
These photos are seriously ruining your sympathy factor...

Burbanmom said...

Yumtastic! Thanks, Crabbman!