I'm tellin' ya, British people are so damn fancy, even when they're searching online for porn. Statcounter informed me that someone performed a Google.uk search for "unclad hairy old ladies," and wouldn't you know it, crabbydad.blogspot.com was the number one result!
A tip-o'-the-hat to all you snaggle-toothed, kidney-eatin', UK pervs out there! I'm afraid the only hirsute old lady you're gonna see 'round these parts is me, but you're more than welcome to stick around -- you never know when my bangers and mash might become accidentally unclad. Pip-Pip!
Anywhich, the toilet, remember? The thing that was fixed a couple weeks by a real purfeshinull? Yeah, it's broken again. Running all night like a motherfucker. I had to shut the water valve off just to get some sleep. (The water valve attached to the toilet, not the one attached to me.) I got up at 3 a.m. to shut it off and i guess I woke up too much, so I couldn't get back to sleep until 5:30. Fucking toilets. I'm THIS CLOSE to just renting a goddamn Port-o-Let and just sticking it in the corner of the bedroom. Sure, it might make the room smell like ass (at least more than usual), but I could always dress it up real purty-like and you probably wouldn't even notice it was there:
All I know is, port-o-let or no port-o-let, I need some fucking sleep. I think I'll go upstairs now, snuggle up next to the unclad hairy Old Lady and see what happens.