Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Curse You Chuck Taylor!

Lesson 732: How to Make a 42 Year Old Man Feel Like a Creep with Two Words

First, hold a recycling event in the parking lot of a corporate office park. Then, wait for said 42 year old man to drive up with a trunk full of cardboard and box-board. Then, as he is getting out to retrieve the items from the trunk, send two approximately 16 year old girls over to help him and have them say, "Cool shoes!"

Congratulations! You've just made a 42 year old man feel like a complete, perv-y douche for doing absolutely nothing.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh relax. If anything, take pride in the fact that your choice in fashion verifies the fact that in order to be cool with 16-year-olds, you have to be dead, a la Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and, of course, (the majority of) the Ramones. I mean, come on. At least they didn't shout from across the parking lot, "Hey, grampa. Your wrinkly old balls are hanging out of your shorts."

bad influence girl said...

Have you ever actually seen a picture of Chuck Taylor?

Maybe it's not the shoes, maybe you're just channeling the man who inspired them:
http://sneakers.pair.com/l/mrchuck.jpg

crabbydad said...

Strangely enough, Bad Influence, that is the EXACT outfit I was wearing. (Except my wrinkly old balls were hanging out of my shorts, Anon.)

Sarah said...

The local HS here has a big fundraising car wash for the wrestling team. The wrestling team washes your car wearing their little spandex short unitards and lace up boots. And...so does the coach. It is honestly one of the creepiest things I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

dud, i think you need to quit obsessing about your age. chucks have been in, again, for like 5 years. maybe more. they ARE cool. you ARE cool. accept it. (sorry. i know you want to think you're a horribly aging father of two. despite living in buttfuck michigan with not one stylsh person you aren't married or living with around - except when I visit - you aren't. get over it).

Anonymous said...

ps that wrestling thing sounds like a fetishists dream. spandex and suds......