What a shit-ass fuckturd pissdick day... with a big cock on it. It started out carpy when I dragged my ass out of bed to go swimming, got to the Y and was told that the pool was closed due to the thunderstorm. What the shit?! It's an indoor pool! What, is there some kind of sneaky, snakey Anaconda lightning that I don't know about? Apparently, they only open it back up 1/2 hour after the last lightning strike. Crazy Y bastards. What does the "Y" stand for... "yignoramus"?
So I drove back home, all pissy, and had to record voice-over stuff all day (and night) until I sounded like Brenda Vaccaro after a laryngectomy. And then I couldn't watch that Andy Richter show tonight 'cuz I'm still recording the voice shit.
Waaaah-waaaaah... yeah, I know I'm a fucking crybaby but when I don't get to swim, my gills get all dried out and I get extra vinegary.
The only thing that saved the day happened tonight, when I was talking to Mr. Z as he was going to sleep.
MR. Z: Guess what, Dad? Today in class, I accidentally called my teacher "Mom."
ME: Really? That's hilarious. You know what, though? It probably made her feel really good.
MR. Z: Yeah, probably. Goodnight Dad.
ME: Goodnight, Miss O.
MR. Z: Very funny.