Go West, Old Man...

I'm all a-flustered a-cuz' we're going back to Chicago AGAIN on Thursday. This time, the whole shit-and-shiboodle are going. My sister is coming into town for her 20th high school reunion and she's bringing her daughter and hubby, so we're going to whirlwind in for two days and then whirlwind right the fuck back out. Of course, every time we go out of town, we inadvertantly screw Mr. Z over by making him miss some sort of school event. This time it's the "International Potluck Dinner" on Thursday night. I don't think he minds missing the dinner part -- he's more bummed about missing the 4th grade musical performance where they'll probably be singing some borderline offensive "international" song, like "La Cucaracha" or "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto."

The problem is, there are supposed to be SNOW FLURRIES (what the shitfuck?!) on Thursday night, and I sure as ass don't want to be stuck on the Skyway for five hours again, like we were before Xmas. So I explained the sitch to Mr. Z and he was pretty cool about it. He's a good boy... been keeping his lid-flippage to a minimum, of late.

He's been spending most of his free time with Miss O, acting out the ridiculously complex storylines of their favorite game, "Allie and Son." Just to give you an idea of what we're talking about, here's an actual character list that Mr. Z whipped together this afternoon while they were playing:



I counted about 60 characters, and the fucked up thing is that they have a unique voice for each one of them. The names are hilarious: "Magda Chicken," "Bob BokChock," Willy Crakatoe," and everyone's favorite, "Mr. Gerald Nosed." They're fucking insane, these two. Of course, Mr. Z is always coming up to me and asking, "Dad, do you know any of the characters in Allie and Son?" and I usually reply, "Yeah.. Allie and Son." Then he'll ask, "What about Sir Loin-Steak and his son Robbie Loin-Steak?" and I'll say, "Oh yeah, those guys are great." Then he'll ask me who else I know and I'll say that I don't know any more, and he'll ask me what different characters talk like, and I'll tell him that I don't know, and he'll ask me what different characters do for a living and I'll finally say something like, "Look, dude, it's great that you and Miss O have this game that you love to play and that it makes you guys so happy but I REALLY don't pay attention to all the characters because there are like 5 million of them and they're constantly changing and frankly it's just not that interesting to me, so why don't you guys keep playing it and stop quizzing me about it, okay?!"

Then he'll just look at me like, "Fuck, dude, rain on my goddamn parade, why don't ya. I'm just trying to share my youthful ebullience with you, and you take a shit on it. Whatever, old man." Then I'll feel like a dick and I'll say, "Oh, hey, is that a list of all the characters you have there?! Let me take a look at it so I can remember some of their names. Maybe I can be one of the characters, huh?"

And then I have to be "Grandpa Johnson."