Sunday, May 18, 2008

Whoa, Black Lung-y, Phlegm-a-legm...

Still sick. Why is it that when the spawnage contracted this bug, they got a little cough and some sniffles, when the Old Lady got it, she had a sore throat and she felt tired and "dizzy," and when I get it, I'm wheezy, coughing gray slugs outta my lungs, can't hear out of either ear, and the never ending raging rapids of boogersnotz that flows out of my face is glo-stick green? I'm not complaining... just askin'.

I've got the fucking immune system of a goddamn dung beetle, that's why. Actually, the dung beetle probably has a pretty powerful immune system, given that the thing basically rolls shit-balls all day for a living. Maybe I could be the first human recipient of a dung-beetle immune system. I'd roll shit-balls all day if it would mean I could stay healthy while doing it. And I'll bet I'd be good at it too -- I have an eye for detail. I'd have the biggest, smoothest shit-balls in town, by gum! "Hey, have you seen the fucking shit-balls that crabbydad rolled today?! Holy crap, those things are turd-riffic!" Yep, that would be the scuttlebutt amongst all the other dung-beetle-immune-system-recipient patients 'round the shitfarm.

Ah, a fella can dream, can't he?

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