Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Oh, the Flocculence of It All...

I don't know if I've blathered about this before, but in order to make it through the goddamn day with my sanity, and a manageable amount of crabbiness intact, I must be swaddled, at all times, in the softest of fabrics. I may not have the most expansive wardrobe, and it may not be the most stylish, but it is, without a doubt, the most skin-mollifying collection of duds and dud-accessories known to personkind.

That's why I've decided to introduce you to a few of my most prized pieces from the 2008 CrabbyDuds Collection. Tonight, I am featuring the latest addition to the footwear category, and, in fact, the final piece in the GREATEST-MOST-SOFTEST OUTFIT EVER ASSEMBLED.

I give you, the Sanuk "Donnie":

What's that, you say? It looks like a slipper? A dirty hippie slipper? A dirty slippie? Well, then I, sir or madame, am a dirty slippie. I challenge you to slip your weary footies into the buttery orifice of this appendage pouch. Well, not this pouch -- get your own fucking pouch.

Seriously, though, get a pair of these fuckers -- you will be rewarded with 10 instant toe-rections. And, yes, I've worn them out in public and, no, I am not ashamed to admit that and, perhaps, people think I'm a fucking scumbag... but it's all in the service of softitude.

Here, I'll make it easy on you:

For the fellas (order a 1/2 to full size larger!)

For the Fridas

And hey, maybe next time, if you're lucky, I'll give you the inside scoop on my underwear.

(Wait... that didn't come out right.)


Russ said...

no pic

and no underwear scoops, please!

crabbydad said...

No pic? That's odd... it's working for me. Anyone else not seeing the buttery goodness that is "The Donnie"?

Jasper Mocks said...

I can see the pic and I think the shoe looks amazing! It has that rustic, worn look to it... Kind of like the type a fellow might wear on the train to Hoboville. You always need something comfy when you're traveling the countryside with a knapsack on your back!

Rob said...

Okay, I'll concede that sometimes the worst or funkiest-looking stuff is also the comfiest - I have several of the rattiest t-shirts on the face of the planet that aptly prove that - but those shoes are, well, um,... just ugly.

Of course, I may not have too much room to talk here, given the flack I get for my FiveFingers shoes.

I'll take a pass on the scoop as well...