No Wonder Lincoln Was Shot...

Day four of the 5-days-off-President's-day extravashitfuck. At this point, the entire Crabbyfamily has cut the bullcrap -- we're fucking sick of being around each other and, frankly, we're not afraid to show it. Whining, crying, stomping around -- and you should see what the spawnage are doing. Luckily, for everyone's sake, they're off to the Kid's Club camp tomorrow, allowing all of us a chance to settle the fuck down and return our lids to non-flipped status.

I mostly blame the goddamn arctic shitstorm outside for our collective crabbitudes. If it weren't iced over like fucking Hoth outside, we'd all be able to venture beyond the confines of Casa de Crabby and run around to let off a little steam. But it's so fucking hayeen-ass out there that I just want to slice open my Tauntaun carcass, climb inside and hibernate until spring.

I will admit that I had a teensie bit of something that resembled "fun" today, as I helped Mr. Z with his latest school book report project. This time, he has been tasked with creating a mobile based on the subject of the biography he just read. His subject: Mr. B.B. King. Now, if you know me, you'll know that I'm not the biggest fan of "the blues" on the planet, but shit, at least it wasn't Robert Cray. Why is that man famous? Anyone?

So we set about creating the BEST GODDAMN MOBILE BASED UPON A NOT THAT ANNOYING BLUES LEGEND EVER CREATED!!! The vision was pretty much Mr. Z's... I played more of the logistician role. But it was his idea to use guitar/microphone/guitar pick shapes for all the components, and, of course, he made sure all the text involved employed EVERY SINGLE FONT KNOWN TO HUMANKIND! I helped a bit with the tying and balancing because shit, if I let him do all that, a) we'd still be working on it in April, and 2) it'd look like carp, so what're you gonna do.

Photographing the fucker proved quite elusive, but here's what I was able to capture:



My favorite guitar pick information nugget Mr. Z wrote was either the one that says, "King currently has 13 children, (5 adopted), with women he met while touring. Some of his kids' names are Shirley, Claudette and Barbara," or "In 1944, B. B. married Martha Denton, and got divorced in 1952. Then, in 1958, King married Sue Carol Hall. But... In 1966, they got a divorce. Now,
King doesn't have a wife." Ain't the blues a bitch.

The mobile's pretty fucking massive -- Mr. Z said that most people use a hanger to make their mobiles, so the "wow" factor should be pretty fucking hilarious when he walks into the class toting this mofo.

I really hope I get an "A+!" I mean... he gets an A+. Heh... uh... right.