Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Loogie Houser...

Well, both of the spawnages are sick... again. There's seems to be a never-ending, boogery river of snot, phlegm and sputum that courses straight through the crabbyhousehold, and it looks like she's never gonna stop a-flowin'. Of course, I blame their mutant, bacteria-encaked classmates, smearing their infecto-fingers 'cross the desks, chairs and water fountain spigots of the school, while wheezing out their viral plague-vapors through their crud-taminated cakeholes.

The trouble is, they've already been out of school so much with the snow days and the other 'mystery' days off that there's no way I'm going to keep them home unless they have a fever, or they're bleeding from their eye-sockets. They've been waking up kinda iffy, but once they get all lubed up with a glass of juice, they hock up a coupla lung oysters, perk up and then they're rarin' to go. Thankfully they inherited their perkiness-in-the-face-of-infirmity from the Old Lady, instead of my I'm-gonna-die-from-this-scratchy-throat feebleness.

Though, looking at the overnight forecast, I'll bet the left half of my rucksack that they're gonna close that fucking school again tomorrow. One to three inches tonight and another five during the day. Motherfucker. Who's the moron who built this state so fucking close to Canada?! What a dick.

Then again, we're the assholes who moved to a state known as "the mitten."


Russ said...

Yum, lung oysters save me some of those!

Jasper Mockingbard said...

The description of the spawnages' classmates fits 95% of my students. And I teach PE, so add to it the stench of the sugary sweat and vile body odor that oozes from their blackhead infested pores. With all of their filth, they always want to hug.

That sound is me wretching at the thought.