Sunday, December 16, 2007


There are four things have kept me from losing my shit lately, and I think, because of them, I'm ready to join the living once again.

1) The Old Lady and the Spawnage. No matter how fucking oh-woe-is-me I've been feeling lately, the Old Lady has been there to pick up my slack and is just patient as shit with my bullfuck. And the Spawnage -- even when they're annoying the crap out of me, they're so goddamn adorable, it's impossible to be a fucking mope for too long. (By the way, I recorded a song with Miss O tonight and I'll try to post it tomorrow. We recorded it live, with my new portable flash recorder, and I think it's tits. It's tentatively called "The Toilet Song.")

B) The very kind people who read this miserable fucking drivel on a fairly regular basis and have left such supportive comments. As I've mentioned, because I have no life outside of this house, I consider you all to be my imaginary friends and it really helps when friends, even imaginary ones, are there for you in times of self-pitying wretchedness.

iii) The mystery person who just ordered three (3!) KICKSOME CDs through the spawnages' web site. Seriously -- I think it's been like a year since someone has ordered one of those fuckers, let alone three. I actually didn't even have any blank disks to burn them onto, so I had to go to Best Buy to get some... on a Saturday... a week before Xmas. That sucked balls. No, but seriously, thanks for the order -- I'm gonna send them out tomorrow.

IV) And I'm fucking embarrassed as shit to admit it, but the final thing that actually made me say, "Snap the shit outta your malaise, Crabbydick, and start posting again! You may have incurable boola-boola, but you've gotta suck it up, ya douche," was this video:

Yes, I know it's a video of a laughing baby... yes, I know it's over a year old... yes, I realize I'm contributing to the downfall of the fucking innernecks by linking to it, but goddammit, it made me blow a fucking snot out of my nose that shot halfway across the fucking room.

I salute you, happy, drunk foreign baby!


Kim said...

I can be in the foulest mood, but when I'm at work and I hear that baby laugh, it all just melts away.

A baby's laugh is a universally healing sound.

Feel better soon. We worry about you.

Lizzy said...

YAY C-dad! My week is better having started my Monday morning with a Crabby-post.

As imaginary we are to you, you play an active role in my imaginary life as well. So get better, and keep my imagination alive!

Rose said...

*LMAO* Thanks for sharing the clip -- where can I get the baby's laugh for my ringtone? *hehe*

Glad you're on the upswing!


Shannon said...

Glad you're back with us; I was getting worried. Imaginary friends are way better than real friends, anyway. I should know, not having any real friends myself.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dud,
Well, my imaginary friend, I hear you on that kid thing. But i also think you should (a) check out the philippine prisoners dancing the Thriller video on youtube and also (b) check out the Canadian Public Service announcements about accidents in the workplace. The second is downright ridiculous.
I can send you links for both - guaranteed to send liquids from every orifice you have!!! xx R

Anonymous said...

ps - I'm not actively worrying about you yet. I remember well your hypochondria. Oy, the old lady is a goddess!!!

Anonymous said...

We watched that baby vid at work the other day too and laughed our asses off. It's the best medicine!
-Kim's sister

bad influence girl said...

If that baby could talk, you just know he'd be saying, "ooooh, shit, that one's a knee-slapper! Really, stop! You're killing me!"

Glad you're back, spreading the joys of happy drunk foreign babies across the land.

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