Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Latest Rave to Hit the Toy Aisle...

Well, it's great to know that Miss O's favorite present that she got for her birthday is basically a date-rape-drug dispenser:

In case you missed the news, Aqua Dots, the latest craze sweeping our moronic fucking nation, just so happen to be coated in a chemical called gamma hydroxy butyrate, better known as GHB to all you budding date-rapists out there. Eat them, and you die. Brilliant! 'Cuz it's not like the thousands of tiny, brightly colored plastic balls, that are the keystone to the whole fucking product mind you, look like delicious shiny candies or anything.

And here's the kicker -- guess who gifted the Aqua Dots? That's right... the TWINS WHO PAINTED THE HORRIFYING BLOOD-SPATTERED PENGUINS, THAT'S WHO!!! I guess if they're not around to personally steal your breath, they send in proxy murderers in the form of poisoned craft supplies. Those devious doppelgangers!

The fucked thing is, back in my college days, I'd probably eat a couple of those plastic bb's to see if I'd get a good buzz off of 'em. Now, I'm thinking about downing a few just to get a good night's sleep. Don't worry, I'll be sure to drink tons of water first and sleep with a couple of glow sticks.


Fanny said...

Hi crabby dad, you're on french blog today.
I love your drawing... You should maybe draw more often.

crabbydad said...

Thanks, Fanny. Me and Jerry Lewis -- the French just "get" us, man.

I tried to translate that page, and the first line translated to, "The new fathers have on the wholesale potato."

Ain't it the truth, Fanny. Ain't it the truth.

Tee said...

Shouldn't. Laugh.

Highly. Inappropriate.

LOL. Ah well.

Never thought I'd see the day when I missed lead toy recalls.

Kim said...

Rave on, Crabby kids!

Nothing like a little GhB to get the kiddie par-tay started! **Cue throbbing house music**

Anonymous said...