Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nary a Poppins...

So, we interviewed a new babysitter last night to replace the one we've had for the last coupla years who graduated last spring. It fucking sucks finding a new sitter. At least the right sitter. I mean, the one we interviewed seems nice enough and all, but she's not necessarily "our kind of people," if I can say that without sounding too much like a douche, which I probably can't. She was wearing some kind of stanky perfume that's still a-lingerin' in the crabbshack, she mentioned that Sunday nights are out because that's when she has her "sorority meetings," and she talked as if, like, all her sentences ended in question marks????

She did have a little nose ring, though, which hinted at a whiff of alterna-somethingness, but shit man, everyone has a fucking nose ring nowadays... they're kinda like piano ties and Japanese sun bandannas were to the 80s. She does like kids, though, and it seems like she has experience. I dunno. It's only three hours a week and the occasional Saturday night. I just wish she had shown up with dreadlocks and a sleeve of tattoos, an acoustic guitar slung over her shoulder plastered in Ramones, The Jam and Clash stickers, a desire to teach art and foreign languages to the spawnage and an insatiable need to mop our floors and scrub out our toilets.

Oh well, I guess, instead, she'll just teach the spawnage invaluable things like the Greek alphabet, how to hold back your friend's hair while she's barfing and how to get boys to buy you J├Ąger and jello shooters.

Hmm... maybe we need to interview a couple more.


Kim said...

Trust your instincts about who watches your kids! You'll know when you find the right one.

You'd be surprised at what some people DON'T ask when they interview the people that care for their children. The last time I was looking for a new job, I was struck by how many of the employers first concern was money. I know that's important, but that can't be the only criteria! I felt like I was doing WAY more of the interviewing than my prospective employers!

I'd expound on my 20+ years of nanny experience, my mad cooking skills and organizational OCD-ness, only to hear, "yes, but we were looking to pay in the $6-$10 an hour range." Ugh. All I can say is that you get what you pay for.

Good luck in your search! I know you'll find an awesome sitter for the Crabbykids!

Carolyn (sea mystery) said...

I miss the bobby soxer sitters though. The ones who took what money you could offer, treated your kids like little adults, and you didn't come home to the red and blue lights flashing outside your home. Guess I'm just too old, huh? Good luck in your search.

Tiffany said...

If I lived nearby, I'd babysit for you. But the commute from Chicago would be a little much...

Anyhow, my credentials:

5 tattoos, including one pretty badass Sailor Jerry-esque blonde on my arm with "Bombshell" written underneath.

An expansive knowledge and appreciation of non-mainstream music, including, but not limited to: ska, reggae, blues, jazz, swing, and punk.

A smattering of French, taught to me by an instructor whose first language was Chinese.

I write poetry, short stories, song parodies, and, oh yeah, JV conversations ;)

I seriously considered becoming an art teacher, but realized that my drawing skills are mediocre...but I can make a mean doodle here and there.

Plenty o' experience with ankle biters---mine's 8...and he's a boy...and together, we BOTH laugh at fart noises...on a regular basis.

A belief that clean toilets are happy toilets. :)


crabbydad said...

All right Kim & Tiff, why don't you two carpool and I'll pay for gas. Ten bucks an hour plus all the juice and goldfish you can eat. Can you start Friday at 3:30?

Anonymous said...

Pay Kim in Quisp and she's there.

-Kim's seester

Anonymous said...


You haven't answered the most important question: was she hot?

--DLB '87