Blaaaargh....

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. What's that all about?! I think I'm turning into my dad. Soon, I'll be going to bed in a nightshirt, sleeping 2 hours and then watching crappy movies on Skinemax until morning. I think I have a brain cloud, like Tom Hanks' character in "Joe Versus the Volcano." I love that movie. It has joined "Sixteen Candles," "Office Space," and "Tommy Boy" as a movie I have to watch if I pass it while channel surfing. God, is this a boring entry or what? How do people make these things interesting day after day after day. I'm just not that interesting, I guess. I think I'm only interesting when I'm talking about poop. I could make this blog about nothing but poop. I could call it a "log." Or a "b(m)log." Or an "online diary(uh)." Or I could rename it "crappydad.blogspot.com." Ugh.

Do you ever get the feeling that you're retarded and that everyone you know is just playing along to make you feel better. Like all the people at work pretend that I'm in charge of projects and things and put up this elaborate front to make me feel competent, and then do all the real work when I'm not around. And either my wife is retarded too, or she just really feels bad for me and pretends that I'm a good husband/dad. And the kids really like me because I'm actually functioning at the mental age of a five year old. You probably don't feel that way. I do sometimes. I guess that's pretty self-centered to think that the world would basically put on this huge show just so I wouldn't feel "different." But isn't that the way someone with the mental capacity of a five year old would think? Aha, got you there. It's like "The Truman Show," but I'm retarded instead of Jim Carrey. Makes you think...