SOMEONE AT WORK: ... And so, we should do this very important thing as soon as---
MISS O (barely audible): DAD!
SOMEONE AT WORK: ... really crucial thing you need to pay attention to--
MISS O (a little less barely audible): DAAAAAAD!!!!
I mute my camera and yell...
MISS O: (inaudible)
ME: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! WHAAAAT?!!!
MISS O: (top of her lungs) I THINK I JUST SHARTED!!!!!
ME: YOU SHARTED?!?!?!!
MISS O: YES, I THINK SO!!!!
ME: GO CLEAN YOUR BUTT AND CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!!!
MISS O: WHERE SHOULD I PUT THE UNDERWEAR?
ME: JUST THROW IT IN THE TUB AND I'LL GET IT LATER!!!
MISS O: THE TUB?!
ME: YES! THE TUB!!!
MISS O: OKAY!!!!!
Apparently, she sharted and was wondering what to do with her underwear.
After my meeting ended, I ran upstairs to ask her what the shit was going on. She told me that as she was reaching up to a high shelf to retrieve some Polly Pocket clothes, she did "three farts that felt kinda wet." She then told me that she "got a little shart on her finger" when she checked to see if, indeed, 'twas a shart.
I asked her if she washed her hands. She said "yes." I asked her if she washed her hands REALLY well. She said, "yes." I asked if she used soap. She said, "duh!" Then I told her not to fart for the rest of the day. She said, "I'll try."
Please don't let tomorrow be a snow day.