Monday, January 11, 2010


Mr. Z got home from school today and wanted to do some noodling on the computer, so he turned on my laptop upstairs while I was toiling away in the basement. Apparently, the laptop was still logged in to my Google account because a friend, we'll call her Ms. M, tried to IM me. I was working on my Mac, though, and, thus, she was IM'ing Mr. Z, instead. Here's their conversation:

MS. M: How's your anus?

MR. Z: I'm not Andy.

MS. M: sorry...

MR. Z: It's OK.

It was at about this time that I switched back over to my other computer and saw their conversation. I almost launched a brain lobe outta my right nostril, I laughed so hard. I typed:

ME: you there?

MS. M: yep... horrified!

ME: Why did you ask Mr. Z how his anus was?

MS. M: I'm so sorry!

ME: I'm laughing so hard right now.

MS. M: me too... i have tears

ME: I wish he would've answered, "Fine, how's yours?" That would've been more polite.

MS. M: I like "I'm not Andy."

ME: Morning! How's your anus? [I'm not Andy.]

MS. M: I'm not Andy's Anus.

ME: Hi, this is Andy's anus. I'm not home right now...

MS. M: Leave your message after the brap! By the way, my vagina won't take my brain's phone calls after the stunt she pulled.

ME: Mr. Z, are you still there?

MS. M: Mr. Z listening?

ME: Uh, I better make sure he's off the computer!

I ran upstairs and he wasn't. He was working on some Mario game he's making. He said he wasn't watching the conversation. Hm. Maybe he wasn't, maybe he was. If he was, he now knows that something was up with my anus. Even more interestingly, though, is that he's now aware that Ms. M's vagina can apparently pull stunts.

I wonder what we'll be talking about at Mr. Z's bedtime tonight.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


So I log onto my Google account seriously considering starting a blog about how I'm about as depressed as I've ever been in my life. Suicide has never before seemed quite so attractive and then I read this...

It's hard to be all depressed and "woe is me" when you're laughing your ass off...


(btw. I got laid off in mid December, my marriage is failing, my kids are falling apart emotionally, one of my cats had a heart attack... The list goes on, but it really doesn't matter. Thanks again...)